So I’ve been hanging out in bed since yesterday afternoon because I got the ole stomach bug. I’ve been swigging the Pepto and wishing for the end of the world to come quickly. Obviously I am not a big fan of being sick. So… I thought I’d post a list of my Top 5 Things to Do While You’re Sick. Next time you’re under the weather try a few of my suggestions and hopefully you’ll feel better. Enjoy the list!

1) Monopolize the Couch- You’re sick. You deserve to take up the only piece of furniture that has direct access to the television. In fact, you also need to have complete control over the tv and the remote. Sure, you’re so sick that you pass out and sleep for hours on end but when you regain consciousness the tv better be on the channel I left it on or so help me…

2) Pretending Like You’re Not Sick- Sure, everyone else in your immediate family came down with a horrible, West Nile style stomach virus but that’s NOT what you have. You just ate something funny. You’ll be ok. Just push through.

3) Acting Like a Baby- When I’m sick this is one of my favorite things to do. So what? Who cares? Give me this one thing! Don’t judge me!!!

4) Curling Up in a Ball and Weeping- In the Seinfeld episode titled, “The Dinner Party,” Jerry eats a Black & White cookie that causes him to break a 14yr vomit-free streak. While my streak has never been this long I try to go years between ralphs. I hate, hate, hate throwing up. When I dashed to the porcelain god yesterday all I wanted to do was weep and wail. And I did.

5) Rest- Ok, this one is for real. The best thing you can do when sick is rest up. In fact, there is a good chance that you got sick because you failed to get enough rest. It makes no sense to keep running yourself into the ground when you are laid up. Take this opportunity to catch up on your rest so you can get back on your feet sooner.