Tag Archives: Discipleship

General

HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Hello. I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams. 

I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.

After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.

First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future. 

The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.” 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.

Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward. 

In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.

Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.

How can I help you today?

There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting. 

  • Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
  • Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
  • Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.

Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)

Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…

  • Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
  • Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
  • Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
  • Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict

If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.

First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.

Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.

I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends! 

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Facebook

To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.

This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.  

General

The 3 Things You Must Do To End 2020 and Start 2021 Well

One of the foundational principles that I live my life by is the belief that how you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

The way you LEAVE a job will determine how you BEGIN your new job. The way you END one relationship has a bearing on your NEXT relationship. How you TRANSITION OUT from one season will impact the seasons that FOLLOW.

If you LEAVE things undone or unsaid, you risk carrying the weight of those mistakes with you as you move forward. However, if you are aware and work to FINISH WELL, you have a better chance of STARTING WELL in your next endeavor.

I have found this to be true either you are TRANSITIONING OUT of a job or role at work, moving from one level of your relationship to another, graduating from school or wrapping up a program, moving away, or even leaving a church body.

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

We have come to the last SUNDAY of 2020… and not a moment too soon. Many of us are ready to leave this dumpster fire of a year behind. We are ready to leave behind the virus, the lock-downs, the physical distancing, the emotional/relational distance we have experienced, the tension and anxiety, the confusion… we are ready to say good-bye to all of it.

The only problem is that just because the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve it doesn’t mean that 2020 simply disappears. Your new “Blessings of Jesus” calendar may role over to January 1st but that doesn’t guarantee that you are prepared to make the transition to 2021.

As a pastor, I care deeply about you and your family as well as your hopes and dreams. That’s why I want to encourage you to do what you can to END the year well so that you may BEGIN the new year well. I believe that the effects of this year will continue to haunt you and hold you back from growth in the future if you don’t handle the transition well. I want to help you faithfully and intentionally work to END 2020 well so that you can begin 2021 with confidence knowing you did all you could do to ensure a great start.

I want to share with you today 3 things you must do in order to end 2020 and start 2021 well.

REVIEW
The first thing you must do is REVIEW this past year. Yes, I want you to review what is quite possibly the worst year of your life. I want you to look back on the good, bad, and ugly of 2020 with clear eyes. I want you to try to remember the things your experienced and the major events of this past year. What happened to you? How did you feel? What positive habits were you able to begin? What negative habits may have held you back?

Lamentations 3:19-24 (NIV) says…
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

We just experienced a year like no other – the bitterness and gall of 2020 was enough to knock many of us down. However, one thing remained constant even in the toilet paper shortages and travel restrictions and that is the STEADFAST LOVE OF THE LORD for you. God’s love, care, concern, provision, presence never went away over the last 12 months. You may not have always been aware of it… you may not have “felt” it… you may have forgotten… but Yahweh was and is and is to come.

Besides some of the questions I encouraged you to ask above, take a few moments over the coming days, get alone with God or gather your family in a time of family worship and study to explore your answers to the following:

– Where did you see God in 2020?
– How was my faith challenged this past year?
– In what ways did I grow in my love and trust for Jesus this year?
– What is my favorite memory of 2020? What is my least favorite moment from this past year?
– In what ways were you challenged in 2020?
– What would you like to leave behind in 2020?
– What would you have God help you change or help you grow in during the coming year?

Reviewing your year is important because you need to ACKNOWLEDGE what happened, pay ATTENTION to significant moments, so you can ADDRESS your growth and set backs more clearly moving forward.

REPAIR
The second thing you must do to END 2020 and START 2021 well is to make every effort to REPAIR any relationship that you know needs attention.

There are different levels of REPAIR…
Some relationships need some attention and maintenance. The relationships need a little CARE and concern so that they can remain healthy.

Some relationships need to be pieced back together. Hurts and Mistakes need to be CORRECTED.

Some relationships need to be wrapped up and put away so that you can move forward. These relationships need proper CLOSURE so that you can both move on.

Matthew 5:23–24 (CSB)
23 So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

When we talk about growing UP, IN, and OUT here at Lakeside we are drawing attention to your most important relationships. We believe that every fully engaged disciple needs a growing relationship with JESUS, with THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU, and OTHERS you come in contact with who need Jesus.

RECOMMIT
We were forced to RESPOND…
We had to generate a lot of energy to REOPEN…
Now is the time to RECOMMIT!

I often wonder how the focus, direction, and motivation for my life would change if I woke up and read the Greatest Commands and the Great Commission every morning and before I went to sleep every night.

Matthew 22:37–40 (NIV)
37 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 28:18–20 (CSB)
18 Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

What would it look like if my every thought, decision, and action were influenced by just these 2 passages? How would my attitude change? How would it impact my relationships with others? How would is affect my work, my desires, my entire life?

In 2021, I want to ask you to RECOMMIT to being a disciple of Jesus Christ…

6 Habits of Highly Engaged Disciples
WORSHIP PASSIONATELY
GROW DAILY
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
GIVE GENEROUSLY
JOIN THE MISSION
SHARE THEIR FAITH

These HABITS help to FORM US in the way of Jesus and BIND US together as brothers and sisters. As we Worship, Grow, Love, Give, Join, and Share our HEARTS, SOULS, MINDS, and LIVES are oriented toward King Jesus and life in his kingdom.

Romans 13:11-14 (MSG)
But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new… How will you END 2020?… How will you begin 2021?

My Jesus Month

The World Hates Your Sabbath

Maybe “hate” is too strong of a word but the world does not get what Sabbath is and they certainly don’t understand why someone would want/need to take one. The world conspires to squelch and subvert the things that it does not understand. The world puts the Sabbath directly in its cross hairs.

Four weekends down. One great Sabbath attempt. Three Sabbath FAILS.

To be fair, I have had four spiritually challenging weekends this month. Looking back there are things that happened that I had no control over and there are things that I wouldn’t have missed out on. I had funerals to attend and a youth conference scheduled, family visits and things that had to take place between sundown Friday and sundown Saturday. I desperately tried to faithfully observe the Sabbath but I became overwhelmed and exhausted in much of my attempts. In fact, almost everything about the Sabbath seemed exhausting to me.

Getting ready for the Sabbath is exhausting. One weekend I was racing the sun as it set. I was in downtown Dallas and was rushing to get home before sundown… on a Friday! I was working twice as hard to prepare for a day of rest.

Keeping the Sabbath is exhausting. Rather than using the day to disconnect from the world in order to connect with family and God I found myself worrying about every action I was taking. “Did that violate the Sabbath?” was a constant question I asked. I focused on the ritual and not the spirit in which it was given.

I was frustrated that I could not observe the Sabbath completely but in the midst of my frustration the words of Jesus burned in my heart.

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for people, not people for the Sabbath. (Mark 2:27 TNIV)

The Pharisees had accused Jesus and the apostles of breaking the Sabbath because they were hungry and had taken the grain, broke it up, and ate. They had violated at least one of the 39 activities forbidden on the Sabbath. Jesus tells the Pharisees that the Sabbath is a gift from the Almighty. The Sabbath is not to be our Task Master. The Sabbath works for us.

Despite failing in observing the Sabbath to the letter I did experience moments of great rest and great connection. These moments came when I took Jesus at his word and treated the Sabbath as a gift from God rather than a list of rules. I want to continue attempting to observe the Sabbath in my life after this month is over. As I have experienced it, studied it, and pondered the Sabbath this month the healthiest and holiest approach to the day of rest has to be this:

In observing the Sabbath you are not serving the day itself. You are serving the Creator. He gave you the Sabbath so that you could connect with The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to focus, strengthen, and change you. The Sabbath is for you. Enjoy it.