I started watching How I Met Your Mother on the recommendation of a friend last year after the writer’s strike. I love the way that friendships are presented on the show and I absolutely love how the show deals with getting older. The protagonists are all young 30 somethings dealing with growing up and moving forward through life.

On Monday’s episode the guys brought out their Murtaugh list- the list of things that they are now too old to ever do again. The idea for the list came from Danny Glover’s Det. Sgt. Roger Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series. In the films Murtaugh is always about one week from retirement when some crazy terrorist group of money-launders or dirty South African diplomats crop up to threaten his well-deserved R&R. His famous catchphrase was “I’m too old for this stuff!” (this is a PG site)

On How I Met Your Mother things like crashing on a friend’s futon, dying your hair a crazy color, and pulling an all nighter were all on the Murtaugh list. The episode was really funny and, of course, it got me thinking.

Today is my 29th birthday so I asked Sandy to help me come up with my own version of the Murtaugh list. I asked her what are some things that I am too old to do anymore. I sometimes still pull an all nighter- my recover time is a bit longer though. I still like going to concerts during the week nights- again recovery time is more of an issue. I still eat crazy mexican food without the help of Tums or Prilosec.

In some ways I’m still as young as I ever was. However, the bell tolls for everyone so I wanted Sandy to help me start a list before my memory starts to fade (joking!).

Here is what we came up with:
“I’m too old for this stuff.”

I’m too old… to forget which days the trash is picked up. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to drop clothes next to the hamper. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to keep sneaking “Black iTunes Cards” ($50, $100) into the shopping cart in the hopes that Sandy won’t notice. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… Windows down. Sunroof open. Stereo blasting… In a school zone.
I’m too old… to shop at American Eagle.
I’m too old… for lava lamps.
I’m too old… to decorate our bedroom exclusively with Christmas lights.
I’m too old… to play crab soccer.
I’m too old… to forget toothpaste on a trip. (I never forget my toothbrush. Just the paste)
I’m too old… to “get” the Jonas Brothers.
I’m too old… to teach other drivers a “lesson” with my horn or deceleration.
I’m too old… for flip-flops.
I’m too old… to get anything pierced.
I’m too old… for the front tuck.
I’m too old… to take quizzes on Facebook.
I’m too old… to eat mexican food everyday for a week. (I’m pushing 3 days already)

Seriously though… I’m almost thirty. Most people go through life never out growing the really negative and immature things in life. As I get older I try (try, try, try) to get wiser and better with age. I haven’t learned much it seems at times but I have hung onto a few truths recently…

I’m too old… to hang onto grudges.
I’m too old… to argue with you.
I’m too old… for winning points.
I’m too old… to care whether they like me or not.
I’m too old… to care about getting the credit or the glory.
I’m too old… to keep up with the Jones… of anyone else for that matter.
I’m too old… to blame others for my shortcomings.
I’m too old… to waste time.
I’m too old… to wait for someone else to clean it up.
I’m too old… to avoid responsibility.
I’m too old… to remember how they slighted me.
I’m too old… to let others get me off my game by snide comments.
I’m too old… to waste any time fretting over past mistakes.
I’m too old… to give up on the future.

What are you too old for?

Here’s to getting old everyone! Have a great day and may your Muratugh lists- the funny ones and the real ones- be short lists!