Why can’t I find a regular, nondescript cover for my Bible anywhere?

I’ve found plenty of neon colored covers. And I’ve seen my fair share of covers that have an eagle airbrushed on them. I’ve noticed covers that look like footballs and I almost bought a cover that came with a compass just in case God’s Word failed to point me in the direction true north. Look at these descriptions of popular covers:

Nylon construction with two compartments, organizing features including CD organizer, credit card organizer, note pad, interior cell phone and PDA pocket, and pen pockets.

Best-seller made even better! Features: *Organizational flap with more interior pockets, credit card and CD/DVD storage *Pen pockets *Notepad holder *Durable construction

Who is carrying their credit cards in their Bibles? Who wants to carry around their DVDs in their Bible? Who are these people that need to carry all that junk with them while they read God’s Word? At the most you need a pen, a highlighter, and some paper. At most.

The other thing that has bugged me while looking for a bible cover is the fact that they all have a handle or handles. Do you really need handles? My study Bible has 2469 pages in it yet I can comfortably hold it in one hand without the use of handles. It’s a Bible, not a purse.

I have found that there are hundreds of covers that try and outshine what they are carrying but there are almost zero covers that just protect Bibles from the elements. That’s all I’m looking for.

I’m not looking for a cover that has bumper sticker theology embroidered on the front in some religious font with a Icthus zipper. I just want to protect my Bible from some of the wear and tear that come from reading and living with it. That’s all. No more, no less.