King Solomon’s Mines. Atlantis. Bigfoot. Nessie. Smurfs. Fraggles. Needles in movie theatre seats. Cloned dinosaurs.

Add to the list of things that may or may not incredible myths Guns ‘n’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy.

Year after year after year music critics begin to salivate as the long awaited album begins to make its way to store shelves. Then year after year after year everyone is disappointed when Axel and friends can’t pull it together and make the impossible a reality. I was 14 years old when the album was first supposed to be released. A lot has happened since then.

Low and behold I log onto iTunes this morning and I see a pre-order special for the almost-2-decade-in-the-making-album Chinese Democracy. So there’s an album cover. There are apparently a number of tracks. There’s even a release date of Nov. 23.

Will we finally get to hear Chinese Democracy? I think we are closer than ever. Not that I really care. I’m not a GNR fan at all. I can’t stand Axel Rose and I feel unclean just looking at Slash (that dude could use a shower). By all accounts this isn’t even a GNR album per se. It is an Axel and friends album. It is a GNR album in the same way that Smile is a Beach Boys album. That is to say not much.

But seriously, I really need some closure on this… and a free Dr. Pepper.