Category Archives: The Simpsons

Popular Culture, The List, The Simpsons

The List: 10 Quotes from “The Simpsons” Season 11

This week the DVD set for The Simpsons Season 11 hit the store shelves. These DVDs are always great because they contain dozens of extras and commentaries on each episode. The only problem is that the way the discs are packaged I need to order a dialing wand because my fingers are too fat to get the discs out of their sleeves. Oh well, while I try and not destroy the packaging enjoy these classic lines from Season 11. Only 9 more DVD sets to go (so far).

10) I can’t believe ‘Smell Ya Later’ replaced ‘Goodbye’.
9) Tapa-Tapa-Tapa
8) Social Security Number? 000-00-02. D#@% Roosevelt. Cause of parent’s death? Got in my way.
7) I’m sorry but we’re not supposed to put butter on the Milk Duds.
6) Fire can be our servant whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on ‘Charlie.’
5) This is a proud day. Now when people ask if we’re in compliance with the Americans With Disabilities act of 1975 I can say, “We are closer than ever before!”
4) Let the agriculture begin!
3) Remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation’s children? Bad mistake.
2) Lisa’s bad dancing makes my feet sad.
1) Smell ya later Bart. Smell ya later forever.

Out of context these are pretty hilarious. Just imagine how awesome they are in context. They’re practically “groin-grabbingly awesome!” (That was your bonus quote)

Movies, Popular Culture, The Simpsons

Best. Episode(s). Ever.

I just had to say it.

We caught the midnight showing of “The Simpsons Movie” last night. I don’t think I have laughed as hard during any other movie this summer. I’ll have to watch it again to make sure that my sleepy little eyes didn’t miss anything.

One of the things that stood out in the movie was the incredible heart-felt moments shared between Marge and Homer, Bart and Flanders, and Homer and Bart. Of course any fan of the show would know that these heart-warming moments are the rule and not the exception in the Simpsons universe. I for one was glad that they included these moments in their big screen debut.

Popular Culture, The Simpsons

Oh Margie, You Came and You Brought Me a Turkey

Why I Love The Simpsons Pt.3: Homer Loves Marge

The Huxtables, the Keatons, and the Seavers were all happily married TV couples. They never fought. They never got sick. They never pulled out their hair after Theo, Alex, or Mike did something reckless. You never saw them second guess themselves. They never let down the facade. Their marriages were perfect examples of pretty perfectness.

Homer and Marge on the other hand don’t have the prerequisites for the “perfect marriage.” Homer and Marge rushed their marriage after finding out that Marge was pregnant with Bart. Their finances are shaky at best. Homers acts like an oaf at times and Marge files everything away so as not to make a fuss. Homer gets frustrated with “the boy” and often times loses his temper while Marge is selfless servant for her family putting everyone’s needs before her own. Homer spends too much time at Moe’s and Marge has a gambling addiction. There are even a few times where each have been tempted to stray from their marriage.

However, at the end of the day Homer loves Marge more than life itself and Marge feels the same way about Homer.

As a husband Homer has displayed a lot of poor judgement when it comes to displaying his love for Marge. He once bought her a bowling ball for her birthday. He engraved his name on it so that she would know who it was from. He spilled marital secrets to his Learning Annex class including the color of hair dye that Marge uses. Homer even missed going to the opera with Marge even though he promised her he wouldn’t forget. Of course his arms were stuck in two separate vending machines but that’s beside the point.

If you have any doubt whether Homer really loves Marge or not I would point you in the direction of episode 1F07, The Last temptation of Homer. Homer’s faithfulness is put to the test when a cute female employee joins the Springfield Nuclear Plant.

When the government accuses Mr. Burns of shady business dealings- like allowing Stuart the duck to pull nuclear waste around the plant in a little wagon- they tell him that they would be willing to look the other way if he would hire at least one female employee. Reluctantly Burns gives in and hires a beautiful redhead named Mindy Simmons.

She has Homer at hello. Homer is in deep smit from the moment that they meet. He even imagines Mindy as Venus from Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Even after work he thinks that he is over his infatuation but it is soon revealed that he is driving backwards down the highway obviously distracted by his thoughts of this new employee.

Homer is troubled that he has feelings for Mindy but decides that what he needs is to spend time with his loving family.

When he arrives home he finds that Bart has been transformed into Lewis’ nerdy professor after his trip to the HMO, Dr. Hibbert’s Moneymaking Organization. The doctors have given Bart thick glasses to correct his lazy eye, a salve for his dry scalp, and arch supports for his feet. Turning to his perfect, beautiful daughter Lisa he finds that she has burned the fishsticks for dinner but says that all is ok because “the insides are frozen so they cancel each other out!” Homer tries to kiss his lovely Marge but she rebuffs him because she has a cold. Not exactly the “perfect family” Homer was hoping to encounter when he came home.

He decides that he a Mindy only have a physical attraction and probably have nothing in common. Unfortunately, Mindy also likes beer, eating donuts, watching TV, and sneaking naps before lunch. Homer finds out that Mindy is attracted to him as well when they share a cramped elevator together. Homer doesn’t know what to do and his gaurdian angel, Col. Klink, can’t help him either.

Homer knows that Mindy and him should never be together because he loves his family. Homer doesn’t want to be tempted to stray but as he is trying to tell this to Mindy they get word that they will be spending a weekend together alone in Capital City for the Energy Convention. While at the convention Homer again tries to tell Mindy that they shouldn’t spend time alone together but his plans a thwarted when they are named “King and Queen” of the convention and are given a romantic dinner for two at “the sexiest restaurant in Capital City.”

Homer feels resigned to his fate after his fortune cookie reveals that he “will find happiness with a new love.” Back at the hotel Homer begins to cry. He tells Mindy that he knows what’s going to happen,

Mindy: What’s wrong?
Homer: (sobbing) We’re gonna have sex.
Mindy: We don’t have to.
Homer: (still crying) Yes we do! The cookie told me so.
Mindy: Well desserts aren’t always right.
Homer: But they are so sweet!

Mindy tells Homer that she is in love with him but that the decision is his.

Cue Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love.” Homer is laying on the bed and there is a woman in lingerie standing in front of him. As she sits on the bed we find that it is Marge. Homer called her to join him in Capital City. As the credits roll Homer tells her how much she means to him in a song. Homer might have been tempted to stray but he never will leave his first love.

Yes, Homer Simpson loves his wife despite what the fortune cookie says.

Next Week: Part 4: The Flandereses Aren’t Geeks

Popular Culture, The Simpsons

On A Scale of 239 to 300

Why I Love The Simpsons Part 2: Homer Is Stupid

Salesman: “Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining. Se we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman such as yourself: panchos, muu-muus, capes, jumpsuits, uni-sheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.”
Homer: “I don’t want to look like a weirdo. I’ll just go with a muu-muu.”

Homer has done a lot of stupid things over the past 18 seasons. He’s gotten into a fist fight with Former Pres. Bush, used Marge as a candy mule to smuggle confection out of a candy convention, brewed beer illeagally in his basement, and of course, he continued eating a sandwhich over the course of a few weeks until he got violently ill. Then he ate some more of it.

If there were ever an episode of the Simpsons that highlights just how stupid Homer Simpson is it would be episode 3F05, King Size Homer.

Like a lot of people Homer hates going to work. He describes the morning commute as, “Gas, Brake, Honk. Gas, Brake, Honk. Honk, Honk, Punch. Gas, Gas, Gas.” Not exactly idyllic. Homer wants to work at home but he just can’t figure out how. His ambitions to skip out on going to work become a dogged pursuit when Homer finds out that another co-worker has been allowed to work at home because he is on disability.

“Unfortunately” Homer doesn’t have a disability. But when Homer sets his mind to something there is no stopping him. Homer finds that he is only 61 pounds away from suffering the debilitating effects of Hyper-Obesity. Yes, that’s right. Homer decides that the best way to miss out on going to work is to gain 61 pounds. With Bart’s help, Homer quickly gains the weight he needs but due to a mishap in weighing himself Homer actually gains 76 pounds. That’s where the muu-muu comes in.

Homer finally realizes his dream but working at home isn’t what he thought it would be. His relationship with Marge and the kids is strained, the air conditioner has to work over time to keep him cool, and he is just as lazy at home as he was at the plant.

Oh, for those of you who don’t know Homer J. Simpson is a Nuclear Safety Technician. The fate of the entire town rest in his fat, lazy hands.

When Homer decides to skip out on monitoring the nuclear reactor and catch a movie he returns home to find out that the reactor is about to explode.

Homer ends up saving the day when he falls into the mouth of the exploding vent. His newly earned girth helps plug the hole thus saving the town of Springfield.

When I sat down to watch this episode this week I was struck by just how great the writing was but that the episode was completed by the visual. You have to watch the episode from start to finish. You can’t blink or you’ll miss everything. King Size Homer combines a great script, with perfect delivery, and flawless imagery.

Yes, one reason that I love the Simpsons is because Homer Simpson is reckless, boorish, and stupid. He routinely puts himself in danger and has just many brain cells as he has fingers. He consistently makes the worst decisions any man could make. However, as consistent as Homer is in his stupidity he is twice as consistent in how much he loves his family. Especially his wife, Marge.

Next Week: Part 3: Homer Simpson Loves His Wife In Spite of What the Fortune Cookie Says

Cinema, Guilty Pleasure, The Simpsons

Top Eleven Moments in Yellow

As of today there are only 11 more Fridays until the Best. Episode. Ever.

The Simpsons Movie opens worldwide on July 27, 2007 and I can hardly wait. I have welcomed the yellow family from Springfield into my home for over a decade now. The show went from being banned by my parents, to slightly tolerated, to a nightly ritual by my wife and I.

Every Friday from today until the release of the movie I will be recounting my favorite moments, episodes, and things that I love about the longest running television sitcom of all time.

Today’s installment:
When I Fell In Love With The Simpsons Part 1

If I had to pick a favorite episode it would probably be I Love Lisa (9F13). Everything about this episode speaks to why I love this show. It has satire, a great story, wonderful gags, and, above all, heart.

The story begins on Valentine’s Day. Remember when you would spend the morning creating “mailboxes” for everyone to put their Valentine cards into? You would sweat and worry that you wouldn’t get one. You glanced around hoping to catch a glimpse of someone dropping a little card into your sack. You didn’t care about the cupcakes at the party. All you cared about was finding out whether or not someone cared about you.

Well, in Lisa Simpson’s class everyone but Ralph Wiggum gets a Valentine. Ralph is the weird kid. He eats glue and crayons. He’s annoying. He’s simple. He simply doesn’t fit in. When Lisa sees that he has been left out she quickly writes him a card and slips it on his desk. The card says, “I Choo-Choo-Choose You” and there’s a picture of a train on it. Her small act of mercy is taken by Ralph as a act of true love. Ralph soon becomes her shadow. While walking home he let’s her in on everything in his small, little life. I mean everything. He tells her, “The doctor said I wouldn’t get so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.” It is more than Lisa can stand. All she wanted to do was show a little kindness to poor Ralph. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings but she can’t figure out a way to let him down easy. They even get paired up as George and Martha Washington in the upcoming president’s Day program. Her plans to distance herself from Ralph become even further complicated when Ralph invites her to the Krusty Anniversary Show, the event of the year.

During the broadcast Ralph introduces Lisa to Krusty as his girlfriend exclaiming, “This is Lisa Simpson and one day I’m going to marry her!” Lisa can’t stand anymore. In front of the cameras, Krusty, and the world Lisa revealed that the only reason she gave Ralph a card was because she felt sorry for him. Ralph’s little heart can’t take the pain. later that night Bart replays the video frame by frame so that Lisa can see the exact moment Ralph’s heart broke. It is a lesson we have all had to learn the hard way. Lisa tries to apologize but she isn’t able to before the President’s day performance.

Speaking of…

We are the Mediocre Presidents!
You won’t find our faces on dollars or on cents!
There’s Taylor, There’s Tyler, There’s Filmore and There’s Hayes
There’s William Henry Harrison: “I died in thirty days!”

Right smack in the middle of the episode is this little jewel. It’s President’s Day and the children of Springfield Elementary are performing a Broadway-style review of the history of America’s leaders. Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln are always center stage but in the twisted world of the Simpsons everyone gets their due. Even John Wilkes Booth.

After misbehaving backstage, Miss Hoover grabs Bart by the collar and flatly delivers a classic example of Simpson humor: “Do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?”

Awesome.

As Ralph takes the stage as George Washington everyone is rightly nervous. Will Ralph remember the lines? Will he embarrass everyone? Will he eat his wig? To everyone’s surprise Ralph is mesmerizing as our nation’s first president. As Washington lies on his deathbed, Groundskeeper Willie fights back the tears saying, “I didn’ta cry when my father was hung for stealin’ a pig but I’ll cry now.”

Ralph becomes a hero to everyone at Springfield Elementary that night. Lisa asks for an apology and gives Ralph another Valentine. This time there’s a picture of a bee on it. It says, “Let’s BEE Friends.” Ralph thinks that will be just fine.

Growing up, I was always told that I shouldn’t watch the Simpsons because it was rude, crude, and had a bad attitude. However, episodes like this are the rule rather than the exception. The episode also rang incredibly true to me.

Who didn’t have the weird kid in their class?
Who didn’t feel sorry for them?
Who hasn’t experienced a time where your kindness was pushed to the limit?
And after you blew up at them when didn’t you realize that your limit was set way too short?

In a day where most animated shows seek to shock and push the limits of taste and “humor” the Simpsons has at its core the one thing that “Family Guy,” “American Dad,” and “Moral Oral” will never have:

Heart.

Ralph Wiggum: Portrait of a Legend (Includes clips from “I Love Lisa”)

Next Friday: Why I Love The Simpsons Part 2: I Don’t Want to Look Like A Weirdo. I’ll Just Go With the Muu-Muu