Category Archives: Self-Leadership

Books, Discipleship, Resources, Risk, Self-Leadership, Study, Theology

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Over the Christmas break, I wrote down a few goals and plans for 2012. One of those goals was to read 50 books between January and December 2012.

Yesterday, I finished my 49th book. I am inches from reaching my goal. In fact, I should cross that line sometime tonight or Friday.

How did I do it?

First, as I wrote last week, you can gain a lot of momentum in your reading when you choose the RIGHT kind of books to read. For me, I read books on Theology, Philosophy, and Best Practices. This way I am making the most of my time and energy and avoiding books that might not stretch me mentally or professionally.

Secondly, at the outset of the year I listed about 30 books that I wanted to read. Some books on my list are ones that were published in years previously and some are books that I know will be published later this year. Some are books I have always wanted to read but have not had the opportunity. I have since edited and re-edited that list but I believe by laying out a plan and choosing individual titles to read it set me on the path to achieving my goal early. It took the guess work out of choosing my next book and it kept me from blindly groping for any book to read next.

I also make time to read DAILY. On Monday morning when I get to the office it is “all sermon prep, all the time” from the minute I sit down at my desk. This is the day I’m reading scripture, commentaries, articles, you name it in order to prepare for next Sunday’s message. I take a break from around 12-2pm for lunch and a mentoring call. I wrap up my sermon prep for the day and then I make sure to spend about another hour reading from my list. There once was a time when I would have said, “I’ve been reading all day” and I would have made an excuse that I had already “read” for the day. No more. My goal is to read no less than one hour a day. Monday is just an hour. Other days I can get in more. Each day brings with it it’s own troubles and obstacles. If you want to read more books that will develop you personally, intellectually, or spiritually you have to commit to reading each day. No matter what!

Next Steps
The point isn’t for you to read 50 books or 100 or whatever. Reading has impacted my life greatly and I want to see it make a difference in your life. One of my favorite quotes is from Charlie “Tremendous” Jones when he says, “Ten years from now you will be the same, except for the books you read and the people you meet.” If you read one more book this year than you did last year you will be better for it and you will be better equipped to lead those around you. So, ready to set a reading goal? Here are some next steps you can take:

1) Today, make a list of the categories you would like to begin reading. Do you want to read more books on history, more literature, business books, foreign languages? There are thousands of books out there from a thousand different categories. Pick a handful of categories that will help you grow and that you will find enjoyable.

2) Next, list at least 5 books that you want to read in the categories you’ve chosen. Then begin reading from your lists. My list for this year is in Evernote. Next to each book I’ve chosen I have a check box and as I read each book, I check it off the list. Some books, after closer inspection, end up getting dropped from my list or moved down the list in order to make room for something that I need to read or is a better resource. Once your list is in place, you can stop worrying about what your going to read.

3) Pull out your calendar and find at least one hour a day in order to read from your lists. It doesn’t have to be all in one sitting. 30 minutes at lunch and 30 minutes before bedtime is manageable. Instead of watching that 3rd and 4th episode in a row of Diners, DriveIns, & Dives (guilty!), read. You have time to read- I promise. Get creative about making time. Make the hard decisions. Sacrifice the things you love in order to do the things you love more.

Don’t just sit there- get reading!

Question: What is one book you’ve read that you would recommend over and above any other book? (Leave your answer in the comments section.)

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Get Back, Leadership, Ministry, Mission, Personal Leadership, Resources, Self-Leadership, Theology

Get Back 5- Life-Long Learning

I have a passion for learning. One of my core values is that Leaders are Learners and so I make sure that my daily actions are in line with this belief. Learning is a discipline and is strengthened through daily exercise.

We live in an day and age where each day offers you a new opportunity to grow in your calling. You can read a book, attend a conference, Skype with a mentor, or listen to a podcast. The possibilities are endless. All you have to do is make the choice to develop yourself, create a plan and stick with it.

My go-to form of development is Reading. Some may look at reading as merely a hobby. However, the truth is that while I love reading it is much more than a hobby for me. It is a necessity.

If I want to learn… I read.
If I need inspiration… I read.
If I need to understand the complexities of life… I read.
If I am hungry… I eat. (As amazing as reading is it can’t do everything.)

This year, I will read somewhere around 50 books.

I’m not chasing a number. I’m chasing wisdom.
I’m not after a trophy. I’m after knowledge.

Reading is essential for growth, development, inspiration, and focus. It is true in my life and it should be true in yours. As I’ve said before, you may believe that you do not have the time to read but the truth is you don’t time NOT to read. It is that important to your development as a leader. Growing organizations are led by growing leaders. If you aren’t growing… you’re dying.

I have had friends ask me how I read so much. Today’s post will give you a little insight into how I make the most of life-long learning through my reading.

I want share with you 3 simple ways to help you make reading an essential part of your life…

1) Choose the RIGHT BOOKS to read
There will be over 1 million new books published this year. You can’t possibly begin to try and read everything so the first step in making reading a essential part of your life is to read only the books that will have a direct impact on your leadership. I look for books in 3 categories:

a) Theology
As a pastor, I read books on theology in order to help me better understand God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Primarily this understanding comes directly through the Bible, God’s Word. I also read theologians like NT Wright, Walter Brueggemann, Miroslav Wolf, and Timothy Keller. Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension.” I want my mind stretched by the things of God so that I will be forever changed.

b) Philosophy
I read theology so that I can understand God. I read philosophy so I can understand man. I may read a book on Psychology and then read a biography/autobiography. I might read up on a particular time in history and then I might follow that up with reading a work of literature. Reading philosophy isn’t about reading Freud or Socrates. The whole point of reading books in this category is to understand how others think and what they believe about life and how it should be lived. Reading about competing world views and philosophies doesn’t make them all equal and valid. Understanding them though will aid in helping to connect them to Jesus Christ and his will for their lives.

c) Best Practices
Best Practices are the types of books that will help me in a practical areas of life and ministry. Books on leadership, small groups, marriage, and administration help me gain insight and develop skills that I need to succeed. I am currently in a season where I am devouring everything I can on communication so that I can develop my teaching and speaking skills.

Exit Question: What are the categories of books you need to read in order to grow and develop your area of leadership? Choose 3 categories right now.

2) Take NOTES on what you read
If you want to get the most from your reading you must take notes on what you are learning. I have two ways that I take notes on what I’m reading. First, I never go anywhere without my Rickshaw Moleskine Folio. When I’m reading I try and distill any thoughts or ideas down to one sentance. I also write out any quotes that strike me as important. I primarily use my moleskin to take notes if I am reading from my Kindle. If I have a physical copy of the book I write my notes inside the front cover and the quotes on the inside of the back cover. Find a way to take notes that matches your personality and learning style.

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(This a picture of my Rickshaw Moleskine Folio. I actually own more than one of these. The folio allows me to carry my notes, pens, and anything else I might need when I’m reading and writing. You can see the reflection of my Starbucks Gold Card there in the front. I love this product.)

3) TELL someone what you are reading
Telling someone about what you are reading will do 2 things for you. First, you will begin to understand and clarify for yourself what you’re learning. Teaching others is a great way to learn. Second, you will find that as you share with others your excitement and confidence will grow. You will begin to feel and see the fruit of all your hard work. This will in turn encourage you to keep reading. You will see, feel, and know that your learning is having a tangible impact on you and those around you!

When leaders stop learning they ultimately stop leading. Don’t let this be true of your life. Right now commit to growing in your leadership through reading. Over the weekend, choose a book that will help you in your calling, decide on a method for keeping track on what you’re learning, and tell a close friend about the book you’ve chosen. Then…

Get reading so you can get leading!

Family Ministry, Get Back, My Life, My Wife Rules, Parenthood, Parenting, Personal Leadership, Self-Leadership

Get Back Day 1- Family

I love my family and I do everything possible to make sure that they know that they are my number one priority. However, it isn’t always easy. Often times I feel caught in the middle between family and ministry.

Family

There is a pull to spend all my focus and all my time on my ministry but if I do that I will lose my family. One of my core values is that I refuse to sacrifice my family on the alter of ministry. I will not let that happen. I know I cannot focus exclusively on my ministry.

There is a pull in the opposite direction to spend all my time and focus on my family. However, if I do that I will struggle to live out  my calling to lead others into a dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ.

There is a lot of tension between my family and my ministry. One thing I understand completely: I am called to lead a local congregation but I’m commanded to lead my family. The tension comes from my desire to do both equally well without sacrificing .

I’m sure you feel this tension as well. Our default reaction is to work feverishly in order to release or erase tension from our lives. I spent many years trying to resolve this type of tension yet I found myself super busy with little to show for my effort. I was meeting the unique needs of each part of my life poorly.

A few years ago I was challenged to manage the tension rather than resolve it. This mindset has made all the difference for us.

The tension between family and ministry or family and work will always, always, always be there. You can’t get around it. So you must learn how to work within the tension and allow both areas to co-exists and even strengthen one another.

Over the years, my wife and I have learned to consistently practiced 5 habits that help us manage the tension between family and ministry.

5 Ways We Manage the Tension

1) Communication
Communication is the foundation of every good relationship and it is essential for managing the tensions in your life. Specifically we seek to communicate the expectations we have for one another and what we need from each other in any given situation. For example, Sandy will tell me that she needs me to be home on Thursday night of next week so that she can be at a ladies event. I’ll then move my schedule- maybe I’ll schedule a meeting over coffee that morning or during lunch so that I am available when she needs me to be. Sandy knows that on Saturday nights I spend a few hours in preparation for Sunday. She understands this need and works her Saturday family plans around this. Bonus: If you add Flexibility to Communication, everybody wins.

2) Schedule
Sandy and I regularly talk about what is on our calendar. At least twice a week we connect with the upcoming calendar (usually we talk about the next 2 weeks). This helps us be intentional about our schedules and it helps us avoid scheduling conflicts. Before I plan anything big on my ministry calendar, I run it by Sandy. I’m not looking for permission but I want to include her in on any scheduling issues to make sure that she is available, aware, and a part of the conversation. This one thing has made a huge difference in our relationship.

3) Date Night
The ideal for us is to have a date night once a week. Having an infant definitely throws a wrench in the gears of that ideal. However, we have found that the real power behind having a regular date night lies with the mindset. Dating your spouse is very much a state of mind. While we can’t go out each week, we can make spending quality time with one another a reality. The couch in our living room can transform into an IMAX movie experience when we make time to watch a movie together. Our couch can also change into a quiet coffee shop as we sit and talk about how our day went and what are our future dreams and plans are. Dates don’t always have to take place “offsite” so make time today for your next date night.

4) Family Night
Right now, Tuesday night is Felker Family Fun Night. I put a hedge around Tuesday nights because I know that we are going out as a family. We typically load the kids up and head out to dinner. One of our favorite restaurants runs a family special on Tuesdays– 2 kids eat free with 1 adult purchase. (How cool is that!?!?!) After dinner we typically enjoy an evening activity. We walk around the mall, we visit the free zoo (pet store), we visit the free amusement park (the playground at church), play at the free waterpark (splash pad)- Are you picking up on a theme here? Family night is my favorite night of the week! Look around your town and see what kind of deals are in your area. Pick a night of the week and protect it from all other events. You will love it and your family will thank you.

5) Do ministry as a family
This will look differently for everyone but we decided years ago to make sure to do ministry together. When someone needs a meal delivered, we load up the car and deliver it as a family. Sometimes we invite a few families over to our home for dinner and fellowship. My hope is that over time my kids will be able to join us in ministry as well. Sandy truly is my ministry partner. I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination.

My prayer for you is that you will learn to manage the tensions in your life. When you do, you will find freedom and life. Use your creativity and imagination to work within the tension rather than expending your time and energy trying to resolve a problem that won’t go away.

Question: How do you manage the tensions between Family and Work? (Leave your thoughts and ideas in the comment section)

Experience, Faith in Action, Leadership, Mission, Prayer, Self-Leadership

Setting Goals for 2012

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I hope everyone had a very, Merry Christmas and that you were able to spend time with your family and friends over the holiday weekend. In less than one week, we will be celebrating the New Year so today I want to give you a few tips on planning and preparing so that  2012 can be a great year for you and those closest to you.

For the last week, I have been taking a few minutes out of each day in order to plan and set some goals for 2012. Over the years, I have gathered a handful of tips that have helped me set and achieve goals. I have come across these tips in books or at conferences or from practical experience. It is my hope that at least one of these tips will help you. Nelson Searcy talks about living a philosophy of “Learn & Return.” He says that anytime you learn something significant you should gladly return it back to the Kingdom by sharing what you’ve learned with others. It is my hope that by sharing some of what I’ve learned about setting goals that your life will be impacted in such a way that you will want to share this with someone else.

Begin and End In Prayer
When setting goals you definitely want to begin with prayer. You want to make sure that the plans you are making or the things you want to accomplish are firmly set and find their meaning within the purposes of God. When I am in a season of setting goals I often start by praying through Psalm 139. Asking God to search your heart and to test your motives is a difficult but crucial task if you are going to do anything of real significance for God this year. The psalm ends by asking God to lead you in his way- his will for your life. You can pick some things to do this year or you can ask the God of the Universe to help you accomplish great things that will have a lasting impact on you and those around you. To me, the choice is easy. Spend some time praying before you just start listing things you’d like to do this year.

Also, make sure to end your planning time in prayer. Thank God for the wisdom and insight he has provided. Pray that he will give you the strength and focus you need to carry out the goals he has given you. Praying before and after your planning puts a Prayer Parenthesis around your goals.

Think in Categories
In 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey encourages you list out the various life roles you play on a daily basis. For me, I have about six roles and relationships that I do life in every day. I am a Disciple of Jesus, a Husband, a Father, a Minister, a Friend, and a Son/Brother. Each of these roles call for a different set of responsibilities and growth happens differently in each of the realms. I have a different set of goals for developing my relationship with Jesus and I have different goals to help me be a greater spiritual leader in my home as a husband and father. There is a sense where growth in one area will impact the others but I feel like God calls me to list specific goals for each of these separately.

You can also break up your goals in to areas such as Emotional, Spiritual, Relational (What are my goals for my relationships this year?), Influence (Who do I need to influence this year and how?), Physical (What are my goals for my physical health this year?), Financial, and Intellectual (How am I going to grow intellectually this year?).

Breaking you goals up into categories helps you see what areas need growth and it can help you be specific about what goals to set.

Be Specific
Often, our goals are pretty vague. Getting specific helps us craft a plan for actually achieving the goals we set before us.

“I want to grow closer to God this year.” Ok. How? What steps are you going to take to grow closer to him? Will you spend more time reading your Bible? Will you make it a goal to pray more consistently? Be specific with this goal by stating something like this:

It is my goal to grow closer to God this year. In order to do this I will start my year off with a fast and I will read one of the gospels each week for the entire year.

“I want to love my wife more deeply.” What are you going to do to achieve this goal? Will you write her a love letter each week? Will you arrange a babysitter each week so that you can treat her to a weekly date night? Specific example:

It is my goal to love my wife more deeply through daily sending her a text message telling her how much she means to me, weekly sending her a card by mail, and monthly planning a date night to reconnect as a couple.

Don’t set vague goals. Vague goals do not change lives.

Tell Someone
Accountability is setting goals is a must. Tell someone your goals. Share with someone you hope and plans. Let a friend celebrate your victories and lift you up when you fail. Goals set in community impact a greater number of people. Don’t keep your goals to yourself.

Pray Hard, Work Hard
A phrase that I have always loved is “Pray like it depends on God, Work like it depends on you.” I have been using this phrase since I first heard it in college. This idea of Praying Hard and Working Hard recently popped up again because it played a big role in Mark Batterson’s The Circle Maker and Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership (two of my top 5 books for 2011). Batterson writes that too often we set goals, pray to God about what we want,and then fail to do anything because we want God to just give us what we’ve asked for. We shouldn’t simply pray and walk away. We should pray and entrust our needs and desires to God but then we should be faithful to get after it and work toward that end. Sometimes God is gracious and drops things in our laps. Most of the time though God answers our prayer when we are obedient to him. You aren’t working to curry God’s favor so that he will give you what you desire. You’re work is carried out as an act of faith and trust in the One who truly determines every outcome. God delivered his people from the hand of Pharaoh but Moses still had to travel to Egypt. God gave Jericho to the Israelites but Joshua still had to march. Jesus prayed that God’s will be done but he still had to go to the cross. Praying hard and Working hard are not at odds. Both are acts of faith and both are needed when you set out to plan and achieve godly goals.

Celebrate
There are 366 days, 52 weeks, and 12 months in 2012. Celebrate little victories along the path of achieving your goals and celebrate big time when you are able to cross a goal off of your list. Two passage that will help you celebrate small and large victories are Ecclesiastes 3:11 and Lamentations 3:22-24.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV)

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3:22–24 ESV)

God wants to accomplish great things in and through your life this year. It is my prayer that you will set aside some time in the next few days to plan and dedicate your time, talent, and treasure to following after the goals God sets in your heart.

For more on prayer and setting goals, check out The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson which helped inspire and give structure to today’s post.

Best Practices, Personal Leadership, Resources, Self-Leadership

Clean Out

I’m spending a little time on the Black Friday to clean up and clear out my office up at the church building. The space where I work is often (most often) cluttered with notepads filled with ideas, post-it notes with reminders, articles I haven’t read yet, forms I have to filled out, catalogs, cups, pens, and other miscellaneous office-like things.

One of my favorite ministry management books is Youth Ministry Management Tools by Olsen, Elliot, and Work. I have consistently  come back to this book over and over in ministry in order to draft forms or plan events. The whole first half of the book is dedicated to Getting Organized so I am cleaning out the office based on some of their suggestions and tips. Here’s what I’m doing:

1) Sort the stuff in your office
Quickly sort everything into 4 boxes
  • Stuff to FILE: Fill this box with forms, old pictures, personal notes, archives, anything “paper-ish” that you need.
  • Stuff to READ: Fill it with magazines, catalogs, brochures, fliers, event posters, conference brochures,  curriculum samples, and general ministry mail
  • Stuff to GIVE AWAY: In this box sort all your miscellaneous items, free stuff you’ll never read or use, old stufff you’ll never really need, pens, desk junk
  • Stuff to THROW AWAY: Anything you can’t put in the other 3 boxes. Ask, “Can I get this information somewhere else if I throw it away?”
2) Go through the boxes
  • FILE: label each item in the box with a Post-It note giving the name of the folder in which the item belongs. Then invite you assistant or a volunteer to file each one.
  • READ: Use Post-It Notes to identify any article you wish to save. Ask your assistant or a volunteer to rip out or photocopy necessary articles, toss the rest of the magazine, and then file the article.
  • GIVE AWAY: Give yourself 1 week to find  home for all your “good junk.” Then toss it in box 4!
  • THROW AWAY: Give it to the Trash gods ASAP!

In a little over 2 hours I was able to tame the chaos and regain control over my work space.

My next step will be to clear out and organize my file cabinet so that I can actually file the important things that I have uncovered today by cleaning my desk area. My hope to also utilize Evernote to digitally file everything where it is easily accessible and searchable.

I hope you found some of these tips helpful. Having a clean and usable work space is key to getting stuff done. We all have important work to do. Clear the clutter and get back to work! People are counting on us!

Ethos, Leadership, Remarkable, Self-Leadership

Choice Cuts from Linchpin

I have been reading Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin this week and I have just been soaking in the leadership goodness that overflows from this book. This book is one part field training manual and one part kick in the pants to help you get out and make a difference right now. Here are a few of the gold nuggets I’ve highlighted so far:

You Are a Genius If a genius is someone with exceptional abilities and the insight to find the not so obvious solution to a problem, you don’t need to win a Nobel Prize to be one. A genius looks at something that others are stuck on and gets the world unstuck.

The tragedy is that society (your school, your boss, your government, your family) keeps drumming the genius part out. The problem is that our culture has engaged in a Faustian bargain, in which we trade our genius and artistry for apparent stability.

This book is about love and art and change and fear. It’s about overcoming a multigenerational conspiracy designed to sap your creativity and restlessness. It’s about leading and making a difference and it’s about succeeding. I couldn’t have written this book ten years ago, because ten years ago, our economy wanted you to fit in, it paid you well to fit in, and it took care of you if you fit in. Now, like it or not, the world wants something different from you. We need to think hard about what reality looks like now. What if you could learn a different way of seeing, a different way of giving, a different way of making a living? And what if you could do that without leaving your job? This is not a book for the wild-haired crazies your company keeps in a corner. It’s a book for you, your boss, and your employees, because the best future available to us is a future where you contribute your true self and your best work. Are you up for that? One promise: the world to come (and this book) is neither small nor flat.

It’s time to stop complying with the system and draw your own map. Stop settling for what’s good enough and start creating art that matters. Stop asking what’s in it for you and start giving gifts that change people. Then, and only then, will you have achieved your potential.

After years of being taught that you have to be an average worker for an average organization, that society would support you for sticking it out, you discover that the rules have changed. The only way to succeed is to be remarkable, to be talked about. But when it comes to a person, what do we talk about? People are not products with features, benefits, and viral marketing campaigns; they are individuals. If we’re going to talk about them, we’re going to discuss what they do, not who they are. You don’t become indispensable merely because you are different. But the only way to be indispensable is to be different. That’s because if you’re the same, so are plenty of other people. The only way to get what you’re worth is to stand out, to exert emotional labor, to be seen as indispensable, and to produce interactions that organizations and people care deeply about.

Every successful organization has at least one linchpin; some have dozens or even thousands. The linchpin is the essential element, the person who holds part of the operation together. Without the linchpin, the thing falls apart.

If your boss won’t raise your bar, you should.

Fearless doesn’t really mean “without fear.” What it means in practice is, “unafraid of things that one shouldn’t be afraid of.” Being fearless means giving a presentation to an important customer without losing a night’s sleep. It means being willing to take intellectual risks and to forge a new path. The fear is about an imagined threat, so avoiding the fear allows you to actually accomplish something. Reckless, on the other hand, means rushing into places that only a fool would go. Reckless leads to huge problems, usually on the boss’s dime. Reckless is what led us to the mortgage and liquidity crisis. Reckless is way out of style. Feckless? Feckless is the worst of all. Ineffective, indifferent, and lazy.

You are not your résumé. You are your work.

Chase the Lion, Discipleship, Ethos, Experience, Faith in Action, Life, Ministry, Self-Leadership, Worship, Wrestling With Scripture

Chase the Lion Week 3 Notes

This is the midway point in our Chase the Lion series. This week is all about reframing your problems. Each day brings it’s own set of problems, issues, and challenges. We can choose to view these problems through the world’s perspective and find ourselves crushed under the weight of life’s problems or… we can begin to see our problems through the frame of Scripture and find that God meets us and carries through anything that is thrown at us.

Chase the Lion Week 3: Reframing Problems
Reframe (verb): to recondition a mental attitude or outlook
Problem (noun): a source of perplexity, distress or vexation

In order for us to put our faith firmly in God we must learn to reframe problems. Life throws everything it has at us and we feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities, expectations, crisis, and problems facing us.

We shared stories though about people facing extreme situations- cancer, poverty, injustice, and death. The men and women, in the face of extreme problems, stood tall and proclaimed “God is Good!”

Have you ever wondered what it is that enables someone to overcome adversity? How can someone have that “God is Good” attitude in the midst of suffering? Their problems have been reframed. Rather than seeing a problem, they see an opportunity. An opportunity to worship.

“Who you are is not determined by your circumstances. The outcome of your life will be determined by your outlook on life.”

This isn’t some pithy, new-age, believe-and-achieve, feel-good statement. If you look at your problems through the frame of Almighty God and His Word- if he is bigger than your fears or problems- than you can begin to see as He sees. Your outlook will begin to be His outlook.

Scripture will reframe your perspective on everything:

It reframes your Identity (Who you are)
It reframes your Destination (Where you are going)
It reframes your Circumstances (What you’re going through)
It reframes your Legacy (What you leave behind)

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11–12 TNIV)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2–4 TNIV)

“For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him.” (Philippians 1:29 NLT-SE)

Charizomai– Greek word meaning to grant favor, in kindness.

Do we really see our suffering as a privilege gift from God? We should.

The ultimate key to reframing our problems is the act of worship. In the face of suffering, in the midst of trials the key to turning our pain over to the Lord is pure worship.

The best example of this is found in Acts 16.

Despite (in spite?) of their dire circumstances, Paul and Silas reacted with worship and actually witnessed to those around them.

“Worship reframes circumstances. The circumstances you complain about become the chains that imprison you.”

What about you?
1) Are there any circumstances that are currently imprisoning you? What are they?
2) What things have you complained about this past week? How can you turn those situations into opportunities for worship?
3) List 10 things you are thankful for

Collecting Experiences, Ethos, Life, Popular Culture, Self-Leadership

My Murtaugh List

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I started watching How I Met Your Mother on the recommendation of a friend last year after the writer’s strike. I love the way that friendships are presented on the show and I absolutely love how the show deals with getting older. The protagonists are all young 30 somethings dealing with growing up and moving forward through life.

On Monday’s episode the guys brought out their Murtaugh list- the list of things that they are now too old to ever do again. The idea for the list came from Danny Glover’s Det. Sgt. Roger Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series. In the films Murtaugh is always about one week from retirement when some crazy terrorist group of money-launders or dirty South African diplomats crop up to threaten his well-deserved R&R. His famous catchphrase was “I’m too old for this stuff!” (this is a PG site)

On How I Met Your Mother things like crashing on a friend’s futon, dying your hair a crazy color, and pulling an all nighter were all on the Murtaugh list. The episode was really funny and, of course, it got me thinking.

Today is my 29th birthday so I asked Sandy to help me come up with my own version of the Murtaugh list. I asked her what are some things that I am too old to do anymore. I sometimes still pull an all nighter- my recover time is a bit longer though. I still like going to concerts during the week nights- again recovery time is more of an issue. I still eat crazy mexican food without the help of Tums or Prilosec.

In some ways I’m still as young as I ever was. However, the bell tolls for everyone so I wanted Sandy to help me start a list before my memory starts to fade (joking!).

Here is what we came up with:
“I’m too old for this stuff.”

I’m too old… to forget which days the trash is picked up. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to drop clothes next to the hamper. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to keep sneaking “Black iTunes Cards” ($50, $100) into the shopping cart in the hopes that Sandy won’t notice. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… Windows down. Sunroof open. Stereo blasting… In a school zone.
I’m too old… to shop at American Eagle.
I’m too old… for lava lamps.
I’m too old… to decorate our bedroom exclusively with Christmas lights.
I’m too old… to play crab soccer.
I’m too old… to forget toothpaste on a trip. (I never forget my toothbrush. Just the paste)
I’m too old… to “get” the Jonas Brothers.
I’m too old… to teach other drivers a “lesson” with my horn or deceleration.
I’m too old… for flip-flops.
I’m too old… to get anything pierced.
I’m too old… for the front tuck.
I’m too old… to take quizzes on Facebook.
I’m too old… to eat mexican food everyday for a week. (I’m pushing 3 days already)

Seriously though… I’m almost thirty. Most people go through life never out growing the really negative and immature things in life. As I get older I try (try, try, try) to get wiser and better with age. I haven’t learned much it seems at times but I have hung onto a few truths recently…

I’m too old… to hang onto grudges.
I’m too old… to argue with you.
I’m too old… for winning points.
I’m too old… to care whether they like me or not.
I’m too old… to care about getting the credit or the glory.
I’m too old… to keep up with the Jones… of anyone else for that matter.
I’m too old… to blame others for my shortcomings.
I’m too old… to waste time.
I’m too old… to wait for someone else to clean it up.
I’m too old… to avoid responsibility.
I’m too old… to remember how they slighted me.
I’m too old… to let others get me off my game by snide comments.
I’m too old… to waste any time fretting over past mistakes.
I’m too old… to give up on the future.

What are you too old for?

Here’s to getting old everyone! Have a great day and may your Muratugh lists- the funny ones and the real ones- be short lists!