Category Archives: Questions

My Experience

As repeated polls have revealed, when asked what they spend most time talking about with their child, her As, Cs, or Fs, more than 70 percent of parents say the Fs.
-Marcus Buckingham

Was that your experience because it was mine? Everytime I brought home a report card or a progress report hardly two words were spoken to me about my good grades. The conversations always revolved around how bad one grade was and what I must do to turn it around.

Usually that wayward grade would be in some math class. My English grades were always high and I did very well in Science and in History because it is in those subjects that my strengths lie. I knew deep within my heart that I would never excel at math. I could only get a little better.

However, that isn’t what the world believes. Maybe it isn’t what you believe.

According to Marcus Buckingham, formerly of the Gallup Organization, 61% of people believe that you will grow the most in your areas of weakness. Really? I will grow the most in my areas where I’m weakest?

It has been my experience that simply cannot be true. My weaknesses shouldn’t be ignored (I would have failed if I had completely ignored those math grades) but they cannot be my focus. According to Buckingham, a far better use of my time would have been spent working on my strengths. That what I kept yelling whispering to my parents all those years ago.

Maybe that is why Buckingham’s work has really connected with me. Last October, I heard him ask the grades question. Twelve years of arguments and frustrations all came flooding back to me in that instant. It all made sense to me. Instead of being encouraged to focus on my strengths I have been told my entire life that I need to focus on the areas where I’m lacking. While the motivation behind this belief is all well and good it is merely a wild goose chase.

According to Buckingham, to learn about success you must study success not failure. Studying failure will teach you more about, well, failure.

I’m more interested in success anyway.

Check out Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths to Work. Click on the link to watch a preview video.

Also check out Trombone Player Wanted. A great video resource to supplement this great material.

I will be attending another seminar with Buckingham on Wednesday. I am absolutely stoked about this event. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until then- focus on your strengths not your weaknesses!

Providing Answers AND Questions

Part of my job as a youth minister is to create an enviroment where teens can feel free to ask questions and a place that helps them answer their questions. While reading Youth Ministry Mutiny by Greg Stier, the protagonist provided 30 questions that his youth ministry centered all of their teaching around. The minister said that, “Every teen and adult should know, live, and own the answers to these questions as a result of our ministry in their lives.”

Here they are:

  • Who is God and what is He like?
  • What is the Trinity?
  • Who is Jesus?
  • Why did he die on the cross?
  • How do I know he really rose from the dead?
  • Who is the HS and what does He do?
  • How do I get plugged into the power of the HS?
  • Is the Bible really God’s Word and how does it apply to my life?
  • What is truth and can I know it with certainty?
  • What is sin and how does it impact my life and my relationships with others?
  • Why does God allow evil in this world?
  • What is a Christian and how does a person become one?
  • If Jesus is the only way to Heaven, are all other religions wrong?
  • What about people who have never heard about the Gospel?
  • What is the Great Commission and how does it relate to me?
  • Is the really a heaven and a hell and what are they like?
  • Is there a judgement day and what difference should it make in my life?
  • Can I really be forgiven for all my sins, even the really bad ones?
  • Will God ever leave me or forsake me?
  • Who are Satan and his demons?
  • How do I engage in spiritual warfare?
  • What is Church and why should I be involved?
  • What are spiritual gifts and how do I discover mine?
  • How should the return of Christ impact my life?
  • What is prayer and how do I do it?
  • Why should I study my Bible and how do I do it?
  • How do I defend my faith?
  • Who am I, where did I come from, and what is my purpose?
  • Which is true creation or evolution, and why does it matter?
  • How can I worship God in everything I do?

As I looked over these 30 questions I felt like they covered just about everything I’ve tried to pass along to my students. Of course this list isn’t/shouldn’t be exhaustive but they gave me a great jumping off point. What do you think? Anything you’d add? Anything you’d take away?

Merging Questions

Yesterday, XM and Sirius, the two and only two satellite radio companies, announced their plans to merge the two outfits into one $13 billion dollar company. While the press release assures shareholders that it will be a win-win situation (XM Shareholders will receive 4.6 shares of SIRIUS for each share of XM they own) the press release answers very little of the questions that the typical consumer of satellite radio might have at this point.

Guess what: I’m a typical satellite radio consumer and I have some questions.

Three years ago, I decided that I really wanted to get a satellite radio. We were living in an area of the country that was, um, let’s say, lacking in terrestrial radio choices. In fact, they were terrible. The city we were in had weak signals and it was difficult to find nationally syndicated shows that we enjoyed listening to. So I went about learning everything I could about Sirius and XM Radio.

In the end, I chose XM over Sirius.

I liked the XM exclusive content like MLB (Sirius has NFL), Talk Radio, as well as XM Confidential and I liked the XM playlists for their music channels. At the time XM had a great selection of receivers than Sirius. However now both companies offer a greater number of high quality and visually pleasing receivers. Finally, the decision came down to usability. I found XM to be the most user friendly satellite radio company out there. I purchased a receiver and was up and running in a matter of minutes.

I enjoy my XM radio very, very much. I love listening to the Starbucks channel, Glen Beck, Theme Time Radio Hour with Bob Dylan, Deep Tracks, Buried Treasure with Tom Petty and The Message CCM channel. Every one of those programs and channels are exclusive to XM. Am I going to lose my favorite channels and shows because of this merger? I feel a little confident that I might get to keep my channels because it seems that XM will absorb Sirius. XM closed at $15.50 yesterday while Sirius closed at $3.93. XM has been that more financially sound of the two.

The press release did not speak to this but only created more questions.

Greater Programming and Content Choices — The combined company is committed to consumer choice, including offering consumers the ability to pick and choose the channels and content they want on a more a la carte basis.

Ug. This sounds like I’ll have to pick and choose my channels and content. It also sounds like there will be a price structure on a sliding scale instead of one flat fee. Satellite radio will be the new cable television. Great.

Accelerated Technological Innovation — The merger will enable the combined company to develop and introduce a wider range of lower cost, easy-to-use, and multi-functional devices through efficiencies in chip set and radio design and procurement. Such innovation is essential to remaining competitive in the consumer electronics-driven world of audio entertainment.

Will the player that I have now be able to connect with the new company or will I have to purchase a new, more expensive reciever with this new “chip set?” My cynical side already knows the answer to this question.

Enhanced Financial Performance — This transaction will enhance the long-term financial success of satellite radio by allowing the combined company to better manage its costs through sales and marketing and subscriber acquisition efficiencies, satellite fleet synergies, combined R&D and other benefits from economies of scale. Wall Street equit analysts have published estimates of the present value of cost synergies ranging from $3 billion to $7 billion.

More Competitive Audio Entertainment Provider — The combination of an enhanced programming lineup with improved technology, distribution and financials will better position satellite radio to compete for consumers’ attention and entertainment dollars against a host of products and services in the highly competitive and rapidly evolving audio entertainment marketplace. In addition to existing competition from free “over-the-air” AM and FM radio as well as iPods and mobile phone streaming, satellite radio will face new challenges from the rapid growth of HD Radio, Internet radio and next generation wireless technologies.

This is merely a positive short term analysis. Without competition economic growth will slow and customer care will wane. Look back at cable television. You can argue that cable tv faces opposition from movie theaters, DVD, satellite tv, as well as iPods, computers, and game consoles. Yet, rather than meet these challenges head on with great programing, awesome customer service, and revolutionary technology cable tv providers treat consumers with no respect. They act as electronic Don Corleones making us lose-lose offers that we can’t refuse. They control content and only allow us a peak at it with high costs and sliding price structures that change at their whim.

I hate having to chose channels and wade through my cable bill. I’m afraid that the fate of satellite radio will closely resemble this antiquated enterprise.

Of course all of this merger business will be in the hands of the SEC. They are not big fans of consolidation so the merger isn’t a lock by any stretch of the imagination.

I just hope that I won’t lose one of my favorite gadgets. If I do, I guess that I’ll just have an extra 13 dollars a month. That and a receiver that will stand as a monument to a great invention that was marred by corporate greed and bad ideas.

WILSON!!!!!!

Sarah asked everyone to name the top 5 things that they would take with them if they were stranded on a desert island. She got her inspiration from a great episode of The Office last season (BTW, New episode tonight!!!!).

Here were my answers:

1) Name 5 books you want with you:

Good to Great by Jim Collins
The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey
Get Up Off Your Knees by Whiteley and Maynard (ed)
In A Pit With a Lion on A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson
TNIV Study Bible

2) Name 5 movies you would have:

The Godfather
The Godfather II
Almost Famous
School of Rock
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

3) Name 5 songs and 5 songs only that you would have on your iPod.

All Along the Watchtower- Hendrix
Where the Streets Have No Name- U2
All These Things That I’ve Done- the Killers
Baba O’Riley- The Who
Fix You- Coldplay

It is a little rainy and cold here in the Big D. I think our plans are to just curl up in front of the TV tonight. I can’t wait. Dunder-Mifflin was missed last week at our house I can tell you that.

Have a great day everyone.

Are You Willing to Make The Hard Changes Now?

From Seth Godin’s Small is the New Big:

My first job was cleaning the grease off the hot-dog roaster at the carousel snack bar, near my home in Buffalo. Actually, it wasn’t a roaster. It was more a series of nails that rotated under a lightbulb. I also had to make the coffee and scrub the place clean every night. it very quickly became obvious to me that I didn’t have much of a future in food service.

I didn’t have to make many decisions in my job. And the manager of the store didn’t exactly look to me to initiate change. In fact, she didn’t want anyone to initiate change. (My suggestion that we branch out into frozen yogurt fell on deaf ears, as did my plea that it would be a lot cheaper to boil hot dogs on demand than to keep them on the rack under the lightbulb all day.)

Any change, any innovation, any risk at all would lead to some sort of terrible outcome for her, she believed.

After I set a record by breaking three coffee carafes in one shift, my food-service career was over. I was out on the street, unemployed at the tender age of 16. But from that first job, I learned a lot — and those lessons keep getting reinforced.

Just about every day, I go to a meeting where I meet my boss from the snack bar. Okay, it’s not really her. But it’s someone just like her: a corporate middle-person who’s desperately trying to reconcile the status quo with a passionate desire to survive. My boss didn’t want to jeopardize her job. She viewed every day and every interaction not as an opportunity but as a threat — a threat not to the company but to her own well-being. If she had a mantra, it was “Don’t blow it.”

In her business, she faced two choices: to die by the guillotine, a horrible but quick death, or to perish slowly on the rack — which is just as painful a way to go, if not more so, and guaranteed to leave you every bit as dead. But in her nightmares, only one of those two options loomed large — the guillotine.

I have to admit it. I have the same dream.

Have you ever spent a night worrying about what your boss (or your stockbroker or a big customer) is going to say to you at that meeting the next morning? Have you ever worried about some impending moment of doom? That’s fear of the guillotine.

But almost no one worries about the rack. We don’t quake in our boots about a layoff that’s going to happen two years from now if we don’t migrate our systems before our competition does. We’re not afraid of stagnating and dying slowly. No, we’re more afraid of sudden death, even though the guillotine is probably a far better way to die.

Recently, at the invitation of the president of a company, I visited its operation in Chicago. This company is a household name, a financial-services giant. And its people know that the Internet represents a huge threat to their future.

When I get there, people are so earnest. They’ve all done their homework. They all take notes and ask questions. At first, it seems as if they’re doing everything right to prepare for the future. They’ve got an Internet task force, and it reports directly to the president. It’s a high-profile gig: Lots of senior people are on this team, and virtually every department in the company has a representative on it.

The team is busy hiring consultants, building prototypes, creating business models, and generally working hard to get the company in shape for the next century.

I give my talk, and team members invite me to sit in on a presentation by the company’s top marketing person. We sit down in a huge conference room, with a fantastic view of the lake, a silver tea set on a sideboard, and custom-printed yellow pads placed in front of everyone.

After the presentation — which sounds all too much like state-of-the-art Internet strategy circa 1996 — they ask me what I think.

I look around, and that’s when I realize that every single person in the room is waiting for me to say the same thing. They want to hear, “Hey, you guys are totally prepared for the Net. Don’t worry about it.” They want to hear, “Hey, this Web thing isn’t a threat to your business model. You don’t need to change a thing.” They want to be told that everything will be fine.

And the really sad and amazing thing is that they don’t care if I’m wrong. The idea that their company could end up like Waldenbooks or CBS or Sears or any other big, dumb company is just fine — as long as they don’t have to change now.

What was going on here? I had just met a group of smart, aggressive, well-compensated people, who control billions of dollars in assets and one of the best brand names in the world. Yet they knew they were going to fail, and they couldn’t do a thing about it. They had all bought into a system in which it’s just fine to fail on the big stuff — as long as little failures don’t happen now.

Let’s be honest.

Nobody likes change.

Real change, earth-shattering change, stay-up-all-night-worrying change isn’t fun. At most companies, it’s a huge threat, an opportunity for failure, a chance to see the stock plummet, to watch divisions get axed, to hear customers scream and yell. We’re organized to resist big change at every turn.

The problem is that today we don’t have a choice. We can’t leave innovation to the small guys, the startups that have nothing to lose. Either we change our businesses, or they die.

Resisting change is natural, sometimes even healthy. In today’s world, though, it can be deadly.

Businesses that don’t change disappear. Winners change; losers don’t.

At the Carousel Snack Bar, I learned three lessons that are just as valid now, 23 years later, as they were then. The first is that you should never take a job that requires you to bring your own grease rag to work. Second, jobs in which you don’t initiate change are never as challenging, fun, or well paid as those in which you do. And third, companies that don’t change vanish.

It’s easy to see those lessons at work on the Net, but change isn’t just about the Internet. When the Internet is old news, companies still will be turning over. Remember DeSoto and Pierce-Arrow and Dusenberg and Packard and American Motors? How about Borland and Spinnaker Software and Ashton-Tate and (almost) Apple? Or A&M Records? Or Orion Pictures?

In the long run, we’re all dead. The same is true for companies, divisions, and brands. Sooner or later, the place where you work is going to disappear. You’re not safe, no matter where you are. Your company is going to fail or be acquired or acquire another company, and you’ll lose your job. Or you’ll lose interest in your job.

One way or another, sooner or later, you’re going to leave. So why not take some risks along the way? Here’s the question: Are you going to be a change agent, or are you going to keep bringing your own grease rag to work?

The biggest gripe that I hear from folks at companies with two or more employees is that someone else in their company is impeding change, that “they” don’t get it, won’t endorse it, won’t allow it to happen. If you’re one of the folks offering up one of those excuses, I’ve got news for you: What you’re looking for isn’t change. What you’re looking for is an official endorsement of the risk-free status quo.

It’s possible to have a great corporate career, to make a difference, to add significant value to your company. But the best way to do that is to instigate and execute change, to risk your job on a nearly constant basis — because every job risk enhances your career.

Imagine that you’re on a boat. It’s a big boat, and it’s got a leak. Actually, it’s got a hole. Belowdecks, your colleagues are busy bailing: They’ve got cans and hoses and even a pump, and they’re bailing water as fast as they can. The optimists in the group are pointing out that no one has drowned yet, and that maybe a giant piece of kelp will come along and get stuck in the hole and plug it up.

Up on the deck, senior management is saying, “Full speed ahead.” Sure, every once in a while a vice president notices that the ship isn’t quite as high in the water as it was. And the rest can’t help noticing that many of the boats around them are sinking. But, frankly, they’ve got a pretty good gig, and all of the alternatives that they can think of involve getting wet.

And there, about 50 feet away, is a brand-new boat, a boat with no leaks, no holes. And nobody’s on it. So here’s the question: Why not go for it?

Big-company CEOs almost never complain to me about employees who take too many risks. They almost never whine about a workforce that’s busy with new initiatives at the expense of the core business. And they don’t complain when people stand up and fight for ideas, standards, and quality that they absolutely believe in. But they almost always talk about people who play it too safe, who avoid risks, and who are dooming their company to mediocrity and, ultimately, death.

What are you going to do? Risk the sharks in the water, get your brand-new Lacoste shirt wet, and go for a swim? Or grab a can and start bailing, even though you know this baby’s going under? What will it be? The guillotine or the rack?

By the way, the last time I visited my parents in Buffalo, I drove by the Carousel Snack Bar. It’s closed — bankrupt, I think. And I bet that spending those last few years on the rack was no fun at all.

Seth Godin (sgodin@fastcompany.com) is the author of “Permission Marketing: Turning Strangers into Friends, and Friends into Customers” (Simon & Schuster, 1999).

In my life I have had the opportunity to work for men and women who were willing to do the hard thing. They traded present security in order to make changes that had the potential to secure the future. Win or lose the organizition was better for it. We worked harder and with greater enthusiasm because we knew that we were standing on the edge of greatness. When we were faced with failure we stood together and quickly rallied with a new idea or perspective to keep us on track. There is no greater feeling.

Conversely, I have worked with my fair share of people who simply try and avoid the guillotine not realizing that they have resigned themselves, their organization, employees, and shareholders to an aggonzing, slow death on the rack of irrelevance.

What about you? Anybody out there want to work for someone that simply avoids the hard stuff?

Not me. I am willing to make the hard changes. I’ll start by making the changes within myself.

link

New Wineskin

Have you ever seen the show Clean Sweep? I don’t even know if they are making new episodes or not but every time I’ve seen it I am reminded again and again of how the small incremental choices in life quickly get out of hand leaving you and your loved ones with a huge mess to clean up.

For the record I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up in a loving home with my parents and sister where we participated in a wonderful version of the American dream. So anything I say in this post from this point on doesn’t come from a poor experience from my past or some cynicism that was thrust upon me at an early age. No, this is just a random question about the small incremental choices that we make.

My wife and I have been married for five wonderful years. If all goes according to plan we are looking to add to our little family sometime within the next 12-18 months. (We’ll see.) Due to this fact I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to raise my little boy (Hewson) or girl (Allison). I’ve been assessing my parental philosophy, if you will, and have come to at least one conclusion that really bothers my wife, my parents, my in-laws, and the friends that I have discussed this conclusion with.

Here it goes:

I do not want to lie to my child. Thus, I do not want to tell my kid(s) about Santa Claus. I think that the whole idea about Santa does more harm than good.

Who says I have to tell my kid about Santa? My wife and my mom say that I have to but beyond that? No one. Someone somewhere made the choice to push Santa on us and I, personally, resent it.

I don’t believe that Santa is evil and I’m not anti-holidays or anything like that. I just think that we miss a great opportunity every year to teach our kids about the joys of giving and receiving.

If there were no Santa, what would you really have missed out on? Think about it. You would have missed out on:

$20 dollar mall photos
Writing a wish list to the North Pole
Finding out that your parents have lied to you all those years
The haughty pride of telling some kid that Santa isn’t real

That’s it. End of story.

But think about what you can gain by leaving Santa out of the equation.

No tricks or secrets about who the gifts come from.
An open dialogue with your kids about giving.
Giving your kids a early start in understanding about sacrifice.
Your kids can see how you sacrificed something for them.
Watching your kids and family members connect without the help of some 1000 year old sprite with a red cap.

The list is endless.

Now, I haven’t quite figured out how to not make my kid the “weird kid that hates Santa.” Nor have I come up with a plan on how to put out angry parent fires when my kid spills the beans to his entire k-4 class about the Santa reality. One step at a time.

I just don’t feel comfortable lying to my children. Once you choose the Santa route you can’t look back. If it is ok for you to lie to them about Santa then it’s ok for them to lie too.

Imagine being truly honest with your kids. Instead of using Santa as a cop-out- “Oh, I guess Santa forgot” or “Santa must have been too busy”- you can bite the bullet and say, “It was sold out” or “We couldn’t afford it this year.” Your kid isn’t going to freak out because… their love for you isn’t based on gifts! You are their parent and if you get wrapped up in the rat race of “tickle me elmo” and whatever Christmas toy is hot this year than you will have a harder time teaching your kid not to get wrapped up in the madness later on.

Our whole idea of Santa is an emotional one. Whenever someone on Clean Sweep refuses to give up some dirty sock puppet with one eye and moth damage that was given to them by their great-grandfather the host will remind them that they aren’t giving up the memories, they’re giving up the item to make room for some added memories.

Santa is the dirty sock puppet with one eye and moth damage that was given to us by our great-great-grandfathers. Getting rid of him won’t mess up your holidays.

I guess all I’m saying is that I just want to be a different parent.

Now, use the comments below to tell me that I’ve lost my mind.

Great Question

I’m reading Seth Godin’s Small is the New Big and I was struck by a great question that every ministry needs to wrestle with.

What story are we telling or should be telling?

Maybe the reason that your ministry isn’t connecting with those in and around it is because you’re telling the wrong story.

To see what I mean you can read the whole article at Seth’s blog.