Category Archives: Ethos

Event vs. Lifestyle pt. 2

So yesterday we looked at 3 mindsets that keep us trapped by the idea that serving others is merely an event to DO rather than a lifestyle to BE LIVED OUT!

One Time Event Perspective:
1) Serving Seems Like a Waste
2) Serving Can Be Scary
3) Serving Hurts

These mindsets limit us and shut our hearts off from true service. But what if we changed our perspective? What happens to our service/attitudes when we realize that we’re called to BE servants? What changes might we see?

Serving Has a Purpose
By framing service as a lifestyle we gain long-term perspective and our individual acts of service no longer seem wasted time or money. You begin to build relationships with those you serve and you can see small changes to their lives and situations (even if only incremental changes). Your serving does have a purpose! You are helping others. You are lifting others up. You are loving others! You are doing this all while glorifying God. Living a lifestyle of service shows others that you care for them and that you love them. This models the care, concern, and love of the Father. Serving has a purpose but you don’t always get to see it in the short-term.

Serving Becomes Natural
When things seem unnatural to us they automatically fall into the realm of scary. It is human nature to be afraid of the unknown or uncomfortable with the strange. When we serve once a year or every once in a while we don’t have time to get over our fears. One of the biggest fears we all have is being scared of things that we don’t feel like we are good at. Starting out, no one feels like they are good at serving. We are great at receiving service from others but carrying it out is another story. We become confident in tasks the more frequently we practice them. In AA they tell you to “Fake it til you make it.” I wonder if this advice will help us gain confidence in our service? The more you serve, the easier it becomes. The more you serve, the less you be afraid.

Serving Hurts
Yes, Serving Hurts was on the last list. However, when we only see serving as an event to check off our list serving only hurts our muscles, our bottom line, our time, and our pocket books. These are the only costs involved in event service- well, they are the only costs we care about. When you live a life of service though something else begins to hurt- your heart. As you come in contact with broken and hurting people your heart can’t help but hurt. When you look at the task before you and come to grips with your desire to make a difference your heart hurts. When you begin to see the world through the eyes of those that you serve your heart hurts. When it comes to changing your perspective about service I think about a prayer I once read. It said, “Father, may my heart break for the things that break your heart.”

When you pray that prayer get ready. You will no longer simply DO service. Your desire will no longer be for serving in the short term. You won’t be trapped by fear or apathy any more.

You’ll be changed. You will BE a servant.

Event vs. Lifestyle pt. 1

I had the opportunity to speak in chapel at Dallas Christian again this week. I have been able to speak to the students there about a dozen times over the last few years and I very much enjoy being with the students there and sharing Jesus with them.

I was given the topic of “Service.” Now, being that this could be a very broad issue I decided to do two things. 1) I wanted to be up front and honest about our attitudes surrounding “service” and 2) I wanted to leave these students with a few practical “service” ideas that they could begin practicing right away. So, the following is what I shared with them earlier this week.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If you speak, you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (1Peter 4:8-11 TNIV)

I think we can all agree that we, as followers of Jesus, are called/challenged to serve others. We are to be servants of all and in doing so we show others the love of God and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ. The problem comes when we fail to live lives marked by service. Service or serving others should be a lifestyle for the believer rather than an event to check off our Christian “to-do” lists. We aren’t called to DO service but are called to BE servants.

When you look at service as merely an event or something that you simply check off a list every once in a while, your serving can be hindered by 3 things. These 3 things seek to stop your service dead in its tracks by trapping your mind in fear and apathy.

Serving Can Seem Like a Waste
You step into a situation and you begin to immediately call things into question- “Do these people really need help?” “Have they even tried to get a job?” “Why are we here?”- or you begin to become hyper-critical- “All we are doing is slapping paint!” “It is too hot!” “Nobody said ‘Thank you’ to us!!!” Because you see service as a one time event your heart isn’t in a condition to really see the people your are helping. You have no long-term perspective on how to show and embody love in this situation. No wonder it seems like a waste.

Serving Can Be Scary
The people you deal with. The neighborhoods you have to go into. The equipment you use. The weirdoes you encounter. The situations you’re forced into. Serving can be scary and when something is scary we avoid it like the plague. We’re in, we’re out, and we leave a smoking trail behind us as we hightail it back to our homes and what’s comfortable.

Serving Hurts
While in high school I was helping tear down a garage for a family during work camp. As we were shoveling debris away I stepped right onto a nail. I threw down my shovel, pulled out the nail and the board it was attached to, and threw it down the street as far as I could. For the rest of my time there all I thought about was how much my foot hurt (and if I was going to get lockjaw). I wasn’t thinking about the service. I wasn’t thinking about love. I wasn’t thinking about Jesus.

I’m not going to lie to you. I have to battle against every single one of these mindsets. Romans 12:10 says that we are to “outdo one another in showing honor” (ESV). This means that service is an all new mindset. Service is 24/7/365. Service is a lifestyle. If we can begin to change our minds/hearts about service than our fears, our bad attitudes, and our focus will then be centered. We will then be focused and empowered by the embodiment of true sacrifice- Jesus Christ!

Event vs. Lifestyle pt 2 Tomorrow

My Murtaugh List

I started watching How I Met Your Mother on the recommendation of a friend last year after the writer’s strike. I love the way that friendships are presented on the show and I absolutely love how the show deals with getting older. The protagonists are all young 30 somethings dealing with growing up and moving forward through life.

On Monday’s episode the guys brought out their Murtaugh list- the list of things that they are now too old to ever do again. The idea for the list came from Danny Glover’s Det. Sgt. Roger Murtaugh from the Lethal Weapon series. In the films Murtaugh is always about one week from retirement when some crazy terrorist group of money-launders or dirty South African diplomats crop up to threaten his well-deserved R&R. His famous catchphrase was “I’m too old for this stuff!” (this is a PG site)

On How I Met Your Mother things like crashing on a friend’s futon, dying your hair a crazy color, and pulling an all nighter were all on the Murtaugh list. The episode was really funny and, of course, it got me thinking.

Today is my 29th birthday so I asked Sandy to help me come up with my own version of the Murtaugh list. I asked her what are some things that I am too old to do anymore. I sometimes still pull an all nighter- my recover time is a bit longer though. I still like going to concerts during the week nights- again recovery time is more of an issue. I still eat crazy mexican food without the help of Tums or Prilosec.

In some ways I’m still as young as I ever was. However, the bell tolls for everyone so I wanted Sandy to help me start a list before my memory starts to fade (joking!).

Here is what we came up with:
“I’m too old for this stuff.”

I’m too old… to forget which days the trash is picked up. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to drop clothes next to the hamper. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… to keep sneaking “Black iTunes Cards” ($50, $100) into the shopping cart in the hopes that Sandy won’t notice. (acc. to Sandy)
I’m too old… Windows down. Sunroof open. Stereo blasting… In a school zone.
I’m too old… to shop at American Eagle.
I’m too old… for lava lamps.
I’m too old… to decorate our bedroom exclusively with Christmas lights.
I’m too old… to play crab soccer.
I’m too old… to forget toothpaste on a trip. (I never forget my toothbrush. Just the paste)
I’m too old… to “get” the Jonas Brothers.
I’m too old… to teach other drivers a “lesson” with my horn or deceleration.
I’m too old… for flip-flops.
I’m too old… to get anything pierced.
I’m too old… for the front tuck.
I’m too old… to take quizzes on Facebook.
I’m too old… to eat mexican food everyday for a week. (I’m pushing 3 days already)

Seriously though… I’m almost thirty. Most people go through life never out growing the really negative and immature things in life. As I get older I try (try, try, try) to get wiser and better with age. I haven’t learned much it seems at times but I have hung onto a few truths recently…

I’m too old… to hang onto grudges.
I’m too old… to argue with you.
I’m too old… for winning points.
I’m too old… to care whether they like me or not.
I’m too old… to care about getting the credit or the glory.
I’m too old… to keep up with the Jones… of anyone else for that matter.
I’m too old… to blame others for my shortcomings.
I’m too old… to waste time.
I’m too old… to wait for someone else to clean it up.
I’m too old… to avoid responsibility.
I’m too old… to remember how they slighted me.
I’m too old… to let others get me off my game by snide comments.
I’m too old… to waste any time fretting over past mistakes.
I’m too old… to give up on the future.

What are you too old for?

Here’s to getting old everyone! Have a great day and may your Muratugh lists- the funny ones and the real ones- be short lists!

Apples and Oranges

I recently attended a seminar for medical professionals and chaplains (of which I am neither) which featured Len Sweet, one of my favorite authors.

Sweet is a futurist and a theologian. His ideas have had a profound effect on the way I see, approach, and carry out ministry. Sweet speaks in images and during his keynote he gave me two pictures for approaching and integrating God’s Word that I’ve been wrestling with since that afternoon. While Sweet took these images in a different direction I believe that he planted a seed of thought in me and here is what has grown.

We must approach God’s Word- the reading, studying, and following of the Bible- like apples and oranges.

When I worked at a school I saw the dark side of Bible study. Most want to study God’s Word like they approach dissecting in biology class. They want a clean environment where the subject is surgically and carefully cut open. They poke and prod around inside until something of note is found. Then thy pull is out, observe it, note it, weigh it and then either discard it or preserve it in glass jars put on display for all to see. The problem with an autopsy is that the subject your are studying must be dead.

But God’s Word is “living and active.”

What if we approach the reading and integration of God’s Word more like the way we eat an orange or an apple?

I love oranges. When I get a hold of one the anticipation is palpable. I gently open it up. The aroma and the essence of the orange is all around me. I take in piece by piece not to observe and discard but to savor. I receive nourishment and refreshment from each segment. My senses are awakened and I feel revived because I have found life and health inside this fruit. Eating an orange is also a messy experience. The juice gets all over your hands and you are left with citrus scented fingers for much of the afternoon.

So it is with Scripture. We have been promised that within the Bible we will find the words of life. Study should never be to pull out and discard. It should be taken in, savored, and used to nourish our lives and point us to Almighty God. This approach leads to life change. You are forever changed by the Word when you allow it to permeate your mind, heart, and hands. Sometimes this is messy. Dissection gives quick answers, observations, and results. Digestion takes a little longer and the process is largely out of our hands. Relying on God is always harder than relying on your own white-coat lab notes.

While I tend to enjoy the effects and experience if eating oranges I know that I also need to eat more apples.

You eat apples whole. You take it in your hand and you just give it a good bite. You dive in all the way and all the way to the end. An apple has a start and a finish.

God’s Word also must be experienced as a whole. God’s story- His-story- is the good news with a beginning and an end. It starts with creation and moves through the whole of God’s revelation giving us a glimpse of His ultimate victory and glory. It tells us who God is, who we are, who/where God wants us to be, and how He is getting us there. When was the last time you experienced God’s Word as a whole? My guess is most of us eat more oranges than apples. However a good, balanced diet will include both.

Same goes for your spiritual health. When you study don’t dissect- savor and enjoy. Be changed, nourished, and revived by what you find and experience. Also, don’t just take in the Word piece by piece. Go all in and experience the Word as a whole- from beginning to end.

What are you waiting for? Take a snack break and experience what I’m talking about. May you be forever changed by God’s goodness and favor. May you take in His fruit and may it lead to health and growth and life in ways that impact you and those around you.

Sweet & Felker

Avoid the Cockroaches

I’ve been reading Tony Morgan’s Killing Cockroaches: And Other Scattered Musing on Leadership and it has quickly become one of my favorite books. I can see this small collection of blog posts, lists, thoughts, and challenges as one of my “go to” books for a quick jolt or simple reminder of my calling.

Tony Morgan is the Chief Strategic Officer at NewSpring Church in South Carolina. He has a great blog filled with all kinds of goodness. Killing Cockroaches is Tony’s attempt to collect some of his “best of” posts into book form because some “don’t embrace the credibility of an idea unless it is contained writing the hardbound covers of a book.” It is Small is the New Big for ministry leaders.

Morgan defines Killing Cockroaches as “responding to the urgent stuff in our lives that keeps us from doing the important stuff in our lives.” He relays a story when he worked in the corporate world as a CEO. One day he was working and was called away from his desk by a screaming employee who needed him to kill a cockroach that was in her office. I’m positive that “exterminator” was not on his nor any CEO’s list of job responsibilities.

This emergency (and others like it) would be what Covey would call the “tyranny of the urgent” and as a leader you could spend the bulk of your time chasing down emergencies and putting out fires. For some they feed on this type of energy. They love feeling needed or swooping in like a caped superhero. Unfortunately these feeling move from a feeling of exhilaration to burnout in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes we have to meet oncoming deadlines. Sometimes we have to swoop in and save the day. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes we do have to kill the cockroaches.

But how can you avoid the soul-crushing realization that you’ve moved from a full-time leader to full-time exterminator. Morgan has some ideas:

Blocking out time in my schedule. A little proactive planning will give you the time you need to work on the important things. This helps me balance home, work, and Micheal time. I’m actively working on this in my life so that when emergencies do arise I can shift things around and still come back to what is important. I have also found that by trying to control my own schedule I can anticipate emergencies a little better than before. Do you plan a head? What can you do this week to pro-actively schedule your time?

Empowering other competent leaders. I spent 27hrs last weekend traveling (14hrs) and teaching (13hrs) between Thursday AM and Saturday PM. I was beat and I was a bit wiped come Sunday morning. The great thing is that I have a great group of adults and support people to help me teach classes on Sunday mornings. I know that I can count on them to lead, teach, and coach. So instead of worrying about getting a teacher to cover or summoning some energy from within (which would have been an impossible task this past Sunday) I knew that everything would be taken care of because I am sharing leadership responsibilities with other competent leaders. Who are you working with? Do they know that you appreciate them? Are you unleashing them for ministry?

Identifying my strengths. I always try to play with my strengths. In high school I was stocky and quick. In football it would have been a colossal mistake for me to try and push over or run over some of those 6ft+ offensive linemen. Instead I played to my strengths- stay low, go under/through, get into the backfield and mess up the O’s play. It worked. Could I have tried other techniques? Yes but I would have ended most games black and blue with little to no glory. Play to your strengths and avoid living within your weaknesses. When you have to constantly work within your weaknesses that is a recipe for disaster. Plus, working and living in your strengths most of the time gives you the (ahem) strength to kill those cockroaches when you have too. What are your strengths? Do you get to play to your strengths everyday?

Morgan states plainly that it is my fault when my day is filled with killing cockroaches. “It is easy to blame the screaming person who runs into my office,” he says, “but oftentimes I’m the one who has allowed (and sometimes created) those urgent demands.”

Today I hope you don’t have to kill any cockroaches. I hope you get to do what you love and can avoid the tyranny of the urgent. If you do find yourself dealing with cockroaches I hope that these suggestions will help you. Good luck friends! Keep pressing on to “take hold of the life that is truly life.”

Killing Cockroaches in 4 Easy Parts (from the Introduction)
1) Mix equal parts powdered sugar and borax in a bowl.
2) Sprinkle in cracks along walls and under cupboards
3) Keep mixture away from children and pets
4) Repeat as necessary for one to two weeks until all roaches have died

Tony Morgan
Killing Cockroaches

The Last Note

Out of the whole Beatles catalogue it is incredibly hard for me to pick just one favorite song.

Do you pick something from their early years? I Wanna Hold Your Hand? Love Me Do? Can’t Buy Me Love, perhaps?

What about their later years? Revolution or Carry That Weight?

Maybe a song that you never get tired of singing? Hey Jude or All You Need Is Love?

While it is hard for me to pick my favorite Beatles song it is no trouble at all to pick my favorite note from a Beatles song.

It is that final chord that comes at the end of A Day in the Life. The whole of the song builds and builds until one final crescendo. In that final definitive one E-major chord we get the entire summation of the song. Everything all at once – laid bare and finished. That last note leaves us with the lasting impression of the whole song.

And so it is in life.

We tend to focus so much on first impressions or keeping/maintaining other people’s impressions of us that we forget that what truly matters — What we will be remembered for is that final note. Our actions, the way we treat people, the way we love and serve- all these things are what truly lasts and will reverberate with people long after our song is over.

The E-major chord in A Day in the Life lasts for 40 seconds. That is quite a long time.

Imagine that this idea too translates into real life. What if your final note, the impression that your character and life leaves with those you’ve left behind, had so much power and energy behind it that it was able to ring out 40 years? That would mean your song would be heard by at least 3 generations.

I have always believed that I could care less about having a building dedicated in my name. But to have a building dedicated in the name of one of my children or great-grand children? That would tell me that maybe I did something right.

What are you doing today to add power to your final note? What impressions are you leaving people with? Today as the music of your life is being played- as it builds and crescendos, moves and sings- remember that everyone is building up to their final note.

May you do whatever you can to make your final note ring out loud and reverberate long after your song is finished.

Notes to Practice Greatness With

A few weeks ago, I read Reggie McNeal’s Practicing Greatness. This book quickly shot up into my Top 10 books of all time list and has been slowly washing over me since finishing it.

In the book McNeal challenges leaders to practice 7 disciplines that give power to great spiritual leaders. What I loved about this book is that McNeal’s heart and desire for good leaders to become great leaders really shone through. Some of these disciplines you may already be practicing but by naming them and by intentionally practicing them they should truly impact your life of service. McNeal writes that great spiritual leaders are committed, consciously and intentionally, to these 7 practices:

Self-Awareness: This protects leaders from being self-absorbed and merely role driven. This leads to increase awareness of burn-out and helps leaders overcome stress. Integration of mission, talent, and personality through life-experience.

Self-Management: The failure to manage self leads to self sabotage or derailment.

Self-Development: Never stop growing. Pursue life-long learning and build on your strengths. Choose to grow through failure.

Mission: Decide to spend your life focused on your mission rather than allow your life to be hijacked by other people’s expectations and agendas. Don’t be distracted by weaknesses that debilitate your energies.

Decision-Making: Be consistent in making good decisions. good leaders know how, when, and what good decisions need to be made.

Belonging: Enjoy significant relationships that nurture your life.

Aloneness: Not just the realization of the alone-nature of leadership but intentionally building solitude with God into your life.

All in all this is one of my favorite books on leadership. I just hit the highlights here so I would encourage you to pick up a copy of this great book and integrate these practices into your life.

Which discipline are you practicing right now? Which discipline do you really need to practice today?

WWYD?

Do you find yourself asking What Would Micheal Do?

Before you accuse me of being arrogant hear me out.

A friend of mine has a 2yr old (soon to be 3yr old) son. This friend of mine and I grew up going to Jr and Sr high together and for the most part we are just as close as we were then. I love his family and his little boy is adorable. I often get to talk with the little one over the cell phone while his Dad prompts him to “carry on a conversation” with me. Sometimes he goes on and on and sometimes he just says “Hi Mikey!” Love it!

BTW, this little boy is the one and only person who can get away with calling me Mikey. Don’t even try it.

While at his grandparents house this little boy somehow got a hold of a picture of me from high school. According to his parents he keeps this picture of me in a little box and pulls it out, talks with me, asks me what I’m doing, and then puts it away.

When I first heard this story I laughed. “How cute and how bizarre?” I thought. A thrill of emotion went through me as I beamed with pride over the idea that I am loved by this little boy.

But beyond being cute and sweet this little story serves as a great big reminder to me.

We are all being watched. You, me, everyone has little eyes and little lives looking to see how we treat them, treat others, and how we live out our worship to God.

Someone, somewhere right now is asking themselves the question WWYD? What Would YOU Do?

They may not have your picture in a box but they look to see how you react to difficulties in your life.

They may not see you everyday but they think about how you show your care for others.

They may not talk with you each week but they orient their priorities to the things that that are priorities in your life.

Hopefully, soon my own son will be here to look to me for guidance, to talk with me, to share with me, and to learn from me. I hope that the words that I say, the actions of my heart, and the pattern of my life is something that he and others can look to in order that they may understand more about the One that I serve.

May our rally cry be like Paul’s, not that people follow us to be like us alone, but that they follow our example because we are following the example of Christ. (1Cor 11:1)

To Him be the glory forever! Amen.

Support

One thought that has sweeping across my mind the last few days has been that I am blessed with a ton of support people in my life.

I live in an area where the youth ministers regularly meet together- not just to accomplish events but we really connect with one another. While there has been some turn over the last few years (I’ve been here 3 years and I’m one of the veterans) we pray together, hang out together, and support one another. I had lunch with one of these guys yesterday and while the reason behind our meeting was professional we dove deep into the personal side of life. Today I had lunch with an “older” minister- a guy who isn’t old he’s just a little further into the journey than I am- and our time together was this great melding of the personal/professional that only ministers can truly understand. We shared about our season and then we went and visited another minister who just became a dad. Again, another chance to connect with one another and support each other.

Have I ever mentioned here that I also have an awesome wife who supports and encourages me and challenges me. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and we are about to launch into the great beyond of parenthood together. While the days of Monday night dates may soon go the way of the dodo, I wouldn’t have traded anything for the time we spent together last night. Thanks Babe.

I have close friends that I can count on- whether in town or on the phone.

I truly am blessed with some great relationships at church too. I love the give and take of doing life together with the families I have around me at church.

Big THANKS to all of you who support me, encourage me, challenge me, count on me, and who let me count on you.

You are appreciated and loved. More than you know.

Are We Human?

I had the opportunity to speak at the junior high and senior high chapels at my alma mater this morning. I really enjoy speaking and teaching and so I try to take every opportunity that comes my way. I look at it as “honing my speaking skills.” Jay Leno hits the comedy clubs. I hit the guest speaking circuit.

I was given the assignment to speak on “What is the definition of humanity?” Real easy huh?

I decided to approach defining humanity by the way we treat others who are different from us. Meaning, our humanity depends on us treating all men with dignity, respect, kindness, and compassion.

This first issue the church dealt with was with racism. The Jewish Christians were unwilling to fully accept the Gentile Christians. This bred hostility and an attitude of exclusiveness.

“We’re in. You’re out. Deal with it!”

In Ephesians 2 Paul reminds us that, regardless of our past, we all have a brand new beginning with Jesus. Because of his mercy and grace, we have been brought inside. We belong to one another and to him. He goes on to say,

“It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God’s ways had no idea of any of this, didn’t know the first thing about the way God works, hadn’t the faintest idea of Christ. You knew nothing of that rich history of God’s covenants and promises in Israel, hadn’t a clue about what God was doing in the world at large. Now because of Christ—dying that death, shedding that blood—you who were once out of it altogether are in on everything.

The Messiah has made things up between us so that we’re now together on this, both non-Jewish outsiders and Jewish insiders. He tore down the wall we used to keep each other at a distance. He repealed the law code that had become so clogged with fine print and footnotes that it hindered more than it helped. Then he started over. Instead of continuing with two groups of people separated by centuries of animosity and suspicion, he created a new kind of human being, a fresh start for everybody.

Christ brought us together through his death on the Cross. The Cross got us to embrace, and that was the end of the hostility. Christ came and preached peace to you outsiders and peace to us insiders. He treated us as equals, and so made us equals. Through him we both share the same Spirit and have equal access to the Father.” (Ephesians 2:11-18 MESSAGE)

We are part of a New Humanity. Being human means that we live out the Greatest Command not just in our cozy holy huddles but by loving those who are considered outsiders. Loving the unloveable. Jesus is our example and our mark.

Through the story of the Good Samaritan we learn that being this new human means we care for those who are a different race and religion than we are.

Through the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery we learn that this new humanity show compassion to those whose moral compass points a different direction than our own.

Through watching Jesus heal the lame, the diseased, the poor we see that being human is loving the broken.

Have have you shown your humanity to others today?