All posts by mjfelker1980

General

Manage YOUR Stress or YOUR StreSS WILL MANAGE YOU

Today I want to talk with you about STRESS. I don’t know everything there is to know about stress but I do know 3 things:

1) There is no such thing as a stress-free life. 

Jesus never promised us a stress-free life. In fact he promised just the opposite. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us, “In this world you will have trouble.” There really is only one thing you can count on in life and that is stress. (Death and taxes being two of the biggest offenders.) That’s the bad news.

The good news is found in Jesus’ promise: “I’ve told you these things, so that in me you may have peace… But take heart, I have overcome the world.”

Each of us have dealt with our own fair share of stress this year and unfortunately, as long as we draw breath on this planet, we will continue deal with stress. Jesus says that peace isn’t found when all of the stresses of life are gone. He tells us that we can have peace in Him even IN THE MIDST of the stress. The old saying is true: Know Jesus. Know Peace.

2) Even on its best day, leadership is full of stress. We can all swap stories from our most stressful days in leadership. Some days I look back on and think, “There was no classroom, book, or conversation that could have prepared me for having to deal with that particular issue.” (Ask me about the truck left in our parking lot overnight and the portrait of his beloved painted on the tailgate.) Tony Morgan’s book on leadership called, “Killing Cockroaches,” is the perfect picture of what it is like to deal with all the negative stresses in our lives and ministries. Headaches and pressure points arise from out of nowhere and we have to deal with them as fast as they come at us whether we want to or not. It’s just how it is.

There are the bad days of stress, but there are also the good days. Even on the good days, we experience stress. It is stressful to check in with our people. It can be taxing to lead and serve those whom we love and care for. People and their issues can be frustrating at every stage of life – babies, kids, teens, adults, and retirees. However, we get to share in their lives and help guide them from where they currently are to where God wants them be. We get to work side-by-side with them to build the Kingdom. It is rarely easy, but there are times when the stress pays off.

3) You’re never going to get it all done. You’re never going to get it all done. (I know I typed that twice.) One of the greatest sources of stress is our never-ending to-do list.

In Leadership: There is always going to be another problem. There is always going to be another budget issue. There is always going to be another meeting. There is always going to be another email to write.  As long as you are in leadership, there is always going to be something else to do.

In Ministry: There is always going to be somebody else to reach for Christ. There is always going to be somebody else to disciple. There is always going to be another pastoral care visit. As long as you are in ministry, there is always going to be something to do.

In Life: There is always going to be another project to complete. There is always going to be a parenting issue to handle. There will always be relationships that need nurturing, repairing, or reviving. There is always going to be mistakes made. There is always going to be times when grace must be administered wether we have the strength or not. As long as you are alive, there is always going to be something to do.

Four Things You Can Do to Help You Manage Stress Today

The question you should be asking is not, “How can I eliminate stress from my life?” Instead, ask yourself,  “How should I manage stress in my life?” You will never be able to eliminate stress but, you can minimize the consequences of stress in your life by engaging in some Stress Management Best Practices. Try these four on for size:

Be Still. Take a few minutes and simply be still. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, close your door, and just sit, breathe, and simply be present. It will be ok. The world will not stop spinning. They will call back… they always do. I use an app called Headspace to help me meditate for 10 minutes each morning before I start my day. By pausing at the very beginning of the day it helps me focus and prepare mentally, physically, and emotional for whatever may lay ahead.

Pray. I can’t think of someone in scripture who had to deal with the stresses of leadership, ministry, and life more than David. Whether he was facing down literal giants like Goliath or the giant sin in his own heart; dodging spears from King Solomon or enemies on a battle field; herding sheep or wrestling bears David turned to God in prayer.  No matter what you are facing today, God knows and would love for you to share your stresses with him. The book of Psalms is filled with prayers for every season and emotion. If you can’t find the right words to express what is on your heart, David has you covered.

Be Thankful. Paul tells us in Eph 5:15-20, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We live is very stressful times but there is a simple antidote for feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out: Thankfulness. Instead of listening to Nirvana or Jason Aldean or Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo and the Morning Sports Crew on your way to work, turn off the radio and turn up the praise in your own heart. Simply begin each morning by listing at least 3 things you are grateful for. Keep a running list in your cleared or reminder app and refer back to it during the day when you are tempted to let stress steal your focus.

Rest. I’m giving you permission to rest. Don’t burn the candle at both ends. Rest is an important component to your health and your long-term ability to lead. I don’t get sick very often but, when I do, there is usually a direct correlation to the fact that I have not been sleeping as much as I should have. We all have seasons where we don’t get enough rest but when those seasons turn into eras, you are flirting with disaster. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier tonight. Put down your iDevice or turn off the tv. Use one of your vacation days to push pause. None of us would violate the 10 Commandments by murdering someone or building a golden calf to worship on the weekends. However, most of us have gotten way to comfortable violating the Sabbath and forgoing the rest that God has commanded for our lives. If your life has gotten out of rhythm, my bet is that you’ve for to long without getting enough rest.

BONUS: Want to find some rest “outside the box?” Studies have shown that taking a 15-20min “power nap” can have amazing results on your productivity, outlook, and overall health. Leadership guru, Michael Hyatt, has written a few compelling articles on the WHY behind taking a few minutes to rest in your day and HOW you can begin taking advantage of this powerful tool. Check out his article, 5 Reasons You Should Take a Nap Everyday or listen to his podcast on The Secret Power of Naps.

Exit Question:

What do you do to help manage the stress in your life? Leave your favorite Stress Management Best Practices in the comments and share what you do to manage the stress in leadership, ministry, and life.

General

WHY YOUR CULTURE IS KEEPING YOU FROM ACHIEVING THE MISSION

When it comes to the mission and vision of an organization, most leaders pour a tremendous amount of time, energy, and attention into identifying and pursuing a mission, vision, and strategies that ensure organizational success. However, less attention is often given to the one thing that will ultimately make or break your organization: Culture. Peter Drucker once observed that no matter how compelling your vision is or how aligned your strategies are, Culture is king and eats everything else for breakfast. 

Your Culture is the lifeblood from which everything else is birthed. Culture is the way that the people in the organization function together… or don’t. While the mission, vision and strategies define your direction and focus, culture is the environment in which these thrive, survive, or die. 

Culture happens regardless of your efforts to define it or to ignore it. This is why Culture must be intentionally discerned, defined, and developed at every level of your organization.

Discern

Culture can be found in the unwritten expectations for team members, the unspoken presuppositions for how work will be done, and shared language that the people of your organization encounter each and every work day.

In order to identify your current culture and begin working toward changing your culture for the better, a time of discernment will help you identify areas of your Culture that need to be celebrated or discarded.

Patrick Lencioni suggests 6 Critical Questions to answer as a team in order to clarify their shared Cultural Values:

  1. Why do we exist?
  2. How do we behave?
  3. What do we do?
  4. How will we succeed?
  5. What is important, right now?
  6. Who must do what?

Articulating, acknowledging, and aligning around the answers to these questions creates a pathway forward for your team to create a healthy, sustainable culture.

Define

When creating Value Statements that are meaningful, the team must understand how they currently function and how they wish to function at their best. Value statements such as, “We will work with Integrity.” and, “We value hard work.” are wonderful statements but they are not unique to your organization and they do not specifically identify how these values function within your team. Life.Church, a multi-site church based out of Oklahoma, communicates some of their values through clearly defined memorable and actionable statements such as these:

We always bring our best. Excellence honors God and inspires people. 

We will lead the way with irrational generosity. We truly believe it is more blessed to give than to receive. 

We will laugh hard, loud, and often. Nothing is more fun than serving God with people you love. 

When statements about how we will function at our best are clearly defined it helps team members rally around unifying principles and values. When someone violates these standards, the team can point to the action and focus on the behaviors (not the individual themselves) that fell short of the agreed to standards. Team members become accountable and empowered as they are challenged to live up to and into clearly defined values.

Develop

In Deep & Wide, Andy Stanley details how NorthPoint Church identified specific staff values for their organization. NP began by asking the question, “If we could push a button and every staff member would do the following, what would the following be?” After a long season of discernment and defining, they named these desired behaviors Common Commitments. Stanley says, “This is a list of behaviors that we feel defines our culture.” These 6 staff behaviors that NP believes define their organizational culture are:

  1. Take It Personally
  2. Make It Better
  3. Collaborate
  4. Replace Ourselves
  5. Stay Fit
  6. Remain Openhanded

(For clear definitions and explanations behind these Common Commitments and how they function within the staff of NorthPoint Church, see Deep and Wide: Creating Churches Unchurched People Love to Attend pp. 347-354)

Creating clearly defined, memorable, and actionable value statements that are aligned with your mission and strategy is the first step to creating a healthier culture and leading a better team. This isn’t a one time process but a life-long organizational pursuit. Teams change, new personalities join, the vision may need to shift over time. The way your team functions today may not be how the team will need to function in the future. Regularly assessing and refining how your team operates according to your values is something that must be committed to and developed over time. Don’t rush the process. The Culture you have today wasn’t developed in a day but over time. It will take time to create a healthier Culture but know this “the One who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

General

7 Things That Keep Leaders In The Darkness

Advent. The season of anticipation as we await the coming Messiah. Just as the world was in darkness before Jesus stepped onto the scene so, we too, wait for his return to bring aight into our darkness.

This season Is typically filled with events and gatherings that too often stretch us past our capacity. “That’s ok,” we tell ourselves. “Once we get past the holidays we can take a breath, slow down, and recharge.” For many of us, this respite never comes. We’ve seen it in the headlines and we’ve experienced it first-hand. When a leader fails to take care of their inner life a blow-up, a break down, or a burn out soon follows. 

Over the years, I have identified 7 forms of DARKNESS that keep leaders from experiencing joy, perspective, and longevity in ministry:

1) Depression/Anxiety

2) Anger/Resentment

3) Relational Issues

4) Unmet Needs/Unrealistic Expectations

5) Lack of Encouragement

6) Stress

7) Dysfunctional Systems

Over the coming days, I’ll highlight each of these issues and help us shine the Light of Jesus on your heart, soul, mind, body, and relationships. Advent begins with HOPE. Maybe you identify with one or more of these agents of Darkness. Take heart, Jesus is coming. 

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33_

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#kickingatthedarkness #hope #clarity #strength #advent #devotional #leadership #leadershipdevotional

General

Ministry Care For Those Who Minister

250 pastors exit the ministry every month.

This means by the end of this year, 3000 more pastors will leave their ministries behind and, if this trend continues, by 2031 the church will have lost 30,000 men and women who at one time had dedicated lives to the local church.

Kicking at the Darkness wants to help stop the bleeding! 

The men and women who enter into vocational ministry do so because they have a profound sense of calling. Ministry has always been stressful but ministry plus everything else right now is a recipe for pastoral burnout and ministerial malaise. Pastors are worn out and are tired because they have been caring for, serving, and leading people who are worn out and tired.

  • Financial constraints, limited participation, and questions about the future of the church weigh heavy on the hearts and minds of those working within our churches. 
  • Pastors feel the weight of responsibility for the spiritual care and feeding of other people. Unlike any other profession, the boundaries between professional care and personal relationship can make it seem as though a Pastor is always in a state of caring for others around them. As a result, many ministers continually put off taking time for their own spiritual care and feeding. Many feel guilty missing a Sunday or ministry event so they put off rest and renewal for a season when it won’t seem as busy. Unfortunately, that season never arrives.
  • Less than half of pastors surveyed said that they have someone in their church leadership who regularly prays with them and over them concerning their own personal and professional concerns. Coupled with this is that many pastors believe they cannot ask for help from their leadership or boards because of unrealistic expectations and unreasonable responses in the past. (The State of Pastors, Barna, 2017)

Beyond the typical stories of moral breakdowns, relational blow-ups, and pastoral burnout, pastor’s families and their churches are also finding themselves dealing with something even more tragic: Suicide. Pastors are not immune to  psychological, emotional, and spiritual struggles. The fallout of such a permanent and devastating event will be long lasting for everyone involved from the family left behind, to devastated church staff, to leadership and governing boards scrambling to respond, to even the average church member in the pews wracked with guilt and wrestling with questions. 

Who will minister to those who minister? Who will care for those who care?

Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

Pastors need someone that they can talk to about their personal and professional lives. They need a safe person outside their regular church settings who will listen objectively, encourage diligently, and direct spiritually.

Our ministry is dedicated to church leaders and teams who have a desire to be faithful and fruitful but may be finding the demands of ministry – the long hours, working with difficult people, & working inside dysfunctional systems – have lead them into seasons of frustration and fatigue. These men and women want to experience growth in their personal lives and professional responsibilities but they just need a little HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH.

Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams find HOPE so that they may gain confidence in themselves and in one another.

Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams get CLARITY around their goals so that they can move forward with focus and unity.

Kicking at the Darkness helps leaders and teams build STRENGTH in the most important areas of their lives so that they may experience new levels of growth and health.

How Kicking at the Darkness provides ministry care to those who minister? 

We offer support for both individual ministers and ministry teams. We believe every minister and every team needs HOPE, CLARIFY, and STRENGTH. How do we do it?

1 on 1 Spiritual Care

1 on 1 Spiritual Care is a bi-monthly check-in call for individual pastors to freely talk, work through their current challenges, and receive HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to continue ministry heart, soul, mind, and body. Pastors will have 2 dedicated calls during each month plus the ability to connect if questions or needs arise between sessions.

All Staff Spiritual Care

All Staff Spiritual Care allows for church organizations to provide their entire staff with access to Spiritual Care as needed throughout the month. Each staff member will be contacted and connected with at the beginning of each month for an initial Spiritual Care session. Phone, text message, video chat, and email access will be provided for each staff member so that everyone on staff can receive HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH all month long as needed.

Family Care

Ministry is a family affair and each member of a pastor’s family faces the same joy, hurts, fears, and frustrations as the one who is on the church staff. Family Care will provide a pastor and their spouse a place to share their hopes and concerns, cares and joys with a seasoned ministry couple who will listen, pray with them & for them, and guide them through their current season in ministry. Every pastor and their family could use some HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

Sabbath Care

Everyone needs a Sabbath. Sunday comes every single week and if a pastor isn’t able to take a Sunday away to rest and be restored… it’s not be a true vacation. The Sabbath Care package offers an in-person 2 day coaching and strategy session to help you create a Spiritual Growth Plan for the next season. After these 2 days, you can go on vacation while your Ministry Coach preaches or serves in your area of ministry the following Sunday giving you the opportunity to feel confident that ministry will be covered while you are away.

What Kicking at the Darkness can do for you?

Pastor,

You are a good pastor. When was the last time someone told you that? Ministry is one of the toughest jobs on the planet. You are on call all day, every day. Conflict isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of pastoring people. The men and woman in your church are broken and hurting… just like you. Let us help you by giving you the opportunity to share what is on your mind, what’s happening in your heart, what your soul needs, and how ministry is affecting your life personally and professionally. Kicking at the Darkness is a safe place to talk, receive encouragement, and prayer. What is the greatest challenge you are currently facing? Let’s talk.

Church Leadership,

Your church staff are rock stars. They come early and stay late. They get up for morning Bible study even though they were out late making another visit. When people come to talk with them they bring their own hurts, habits, and hang-ups with them. That means your ministry staff receive more discouragement than encouragement most days. They are afraid of messing up publicly. They are acutely aware of their own shortcomings and are worried others will be all too quick to point them out. Criticism stings and the pain lingers. Despite all this… your pastors LOVE your church. They show concern for, sacrifice all they can, and serve with everything that they are. The cost of ministry failure is extremely high. The damage done to pastors and their families, relationships within the church, and, ultimately the witness of the church is at stake. Of course the actual financial costs associated with the pre-mature exit of a minister or the dismissal that results from moral failure are real and costly they pale in comparison to the emotional and spiritual costs wrought upon pastors, their families, and churches who failed to identify struggles, address pain, and provide space and resources for proper healing and health. I know you love the men and women you shepherd and I want to encourage you to do whatever you can to provide for their personal and professional health. As you show your faithfulness to those you employ, everyone will be blessed by the fruit that occurs when ministers grow in their calling.

If you could do something, anything to help prevent anyone on your church staff from breaking down, blowing up, or burning out what would would you be willing to pay? What lengths would you go to ensure that the ministers you know and love are cared for, properly fed, and protected from further damage? 

For churches to be healthy, they must be led by healthy pastors. It is the goal of Kicking at the Darkness to come alongside pastors, their families, and churches to work together and fight for the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual lives of those who are dedicated to sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the local church. We invite you to invest in the Kingdom of God by investing in the health and well-being of pastors.

General

Vision over Visibility

Vision over Visibility. You see where you want go, who you want to become, what needs to change but… the pathway may be obscured. You are clear on the direction but uncertain about how to get there.

My friend Bono says that this is what occurs at the Moment of Surrender. No one likes to surrender. We like control. Control is not the way to growth. Surrender is.

Surrender to the process. Surrender to unknown. Surrender to the One who controls it all… and is good, kind, full of Grace and Truth. There’s the Vision. Ultimately, He will give you the ability to see your way through.

General

Be the Hero

Life is HARD. I mean, really HARD. I don’t have to tell you that. Look at everything that has happened to you… just this week. AND IT’S ONLY TUESDAY. Too often I am tempted to see myself as a VICTIM and that my life is at the mercy of of the UNFAIR, UNREASONABLE, UNIFORMED, and UNTRUE. This is false.

Yes, Life may have been UNFAIR. Yes, people may have been UNREASONABLE. Yes, their criticism was UNINFORMED. Yes, some have said things that are UNTRUE. But that doesn’t mean that your work, effort, ideas, and contribution suddenly become invalidated. Don’t let the weight of the UNFAIR, UNREASONABLE, UNIFORMED, and UNTRUE permanently ground you from doing the work you are called and designed to do.

Everyday you have a choice: See yourself as a VICTIM or become the HERO. My plan is to wake up tomorrow and take flight. What about you?

General

Tim Ferris’ Big D.E.A.L.

I have been reading and listening to Tim Ferris since I picked up his book, The Four Hour Work Week back in 2009. I love that Ferris pulls back the curtain in his own life and mindset so that you can learn from his approach and tailor the principles to meet the demands of your own dream life. Everything Tim does seems driven by his desire to help others achieve freedom through pushing themselves to optimize every personal and professional resource they have available at the time… and to dare to push further than what you believe is comfortable. It is there on the other side of comfort that your greatest opportunities live.

I recently came across a video in which Tim and fellow entrepreneur Noah Kagan, help a part-time yoga instructor attempt her dream of going full-time with her coaching and business. The video breaks down Ferris’ framework for creating clarity and momentum when starting a business. The acronym D.E.A.L. (Definition, Elimination, Automation, Liberation) lays out the four steps needed to move you from start to finish from dream to dream life. 

What I love about the D.E.A.L. framework is that you can apply it to just about any goal in your life. The steps to follow could help you grow a business of your dreams so you can retire to a private island or they can help you meet your sales goals in the next week, quarter, or year. I’ll leave a link to the video below but I wanted to highlight the first step in the D.E.A.L. system because it is the most important step when going after a goal or trying to achieve more for your life. 

“Definition,” Ferris says, is about “quantifying your goals and overcoming any fears that keep you from getting started.” The first step is to get exceptionally specific about your goals. If your goals are not clearly defined you will expend a lot of energy in a bunch of different directions without making progress on what you claim to be important to you. Clarity around what you really want and what you are really after helps you stay the course  when chaos attacks or cynicism sets in. So, ask yourself, “What is it that I want to achieve?” “What is my goal this week, this quarter, this year?” Get clarity around that and then aim single-mindedly at it. 

Now, here is where Ferris sets himself apart from other coaches. The second part of Definition is to Define Your Fears. When you identify what you are afraid of you can begin to do the work – internally and externally – of disarming these fears and keep them from impeding your progress. Ferris suggests breaking down your fears through a series of small, silly tasks meant to get you comfortable with the uncomfortable. In the video, he challenges the yoga instructor to straight-up ask for a discount on her coffee for no reason other than she would like a discount. The point is that she will be asking and inviting people to be a part of her yoga business and if you are afraid to ask small… you will never ask big. 

Ferris goes through a few other aspects of Defining what you want and what you need to make your dream a reality but these first two steps: Defining Your Goals and Defining Your Fears can set you up to achieve right now.

Take a few moments today to define what you want and to define what might be keeping you from going full-bore after that goal. Shine some light on your goals and that light will help drive away the fears that are holding you back. 

General

The 3 Things You Must Do To End 2020 and Start 2021 Well

One of the foundational principles that I live my life by is the belief that how you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

The way you LEAVE a job will determine how you BEGIN your new job. The way you END one relationship has a bearing on your NEXT relationship. How you TRANSITION OUT from one season will impact the seasons that FOLLOW.

If you LEAVE things undone or unsaid, you risk carrying the weight of those mistakes with you as you move forward. However, if you are aware and work to FINISH WELL, you have a better chance of STARTING WELL in your next endeavor.

I have found this to be true either you are TRANSITIONING OUT of a job or role at work, moving from one level of your relationship to another, graduating from school or wrapping up a program, moving away, or even leaving a church body.

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

We have come to the last SUNDAY of 2020… and not a moment too soon. Many of us are ready to leave this dumpster fire of a year behind. We are ready to leave behind the virus, the lock-downs, the physical distancing, the emotional/relational distance we have experienced, the tension and anxiety, the confusion… we are ready to say good-bye to all of it.

The only problem is that just because the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve it doesn’t mean that 2020 simply disappears. Your new “Blessings of Jesus” calendar may role over to January 1st but that doesn’t guarantee that you are prepared to make the transition to 2021.

As a pastor, I care deeply about you and your family as well as your hopes and dreams. That’s why I want to encourage you to do what you can to END the year well so that you may BEGIN the new year well. I believe that the effects of this year will continue to haunt you and hold you back from growth in the future if you don’t handle the transition well. I want to help you faithfully and intentionally work to END 2020 well so that you can begin 2021 with confidence knowing you did all you could do to ensure a great start.

I want to share with you today 3 things you must do in order to end 2020 and start 2021 well.

REVIEW
The first thing you must do is REVIEW this past year. Yes, I want you to review what is quite possibly the worst year of your life. I want you to look back on the good, bad, and ugly of 2020 with clear eyes. I want you to try to remember the things your experienced and the major events of this past year. What happened to you? How did you feel? What positive habits were you able to begin? What negative habits may have held you back?

Lamentations 3:19-24 (NIV) says…
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

We just experienced a year like no other – the bitterness and gall of 2020 was enough to knock many of us down. However, one thing remained constant even in the toilet paper shortages and travel restrictions and that is the STEADFAST LOVE OF THE LORD for you. God’s love, care, concern, provision, presence never went away over the last 12 months. You may not have always been aware of it… you may not have “felt” it… you may have forgotten… but Yahweh was and is and is to come.

Besides some of the questions I encouraged you to ask above, take a few moments over the coming days, get alone with God or gather your family in a time of family worship and study to explore your answers to the following:

– Where did you see God in 2020?
– How was my faith challenged this past year?
– In what ways did I grow in my love and trust for Jesus this year?
– What is my favorite memory of 2020? What is my least favorite moment from this past year?
– In what ways were you challenged in 2020?
– What would you like to leave behind in 2020?
– What would you have God help you change or help you grow in during the coming year?

Reviewing your year is important because you need to ACKNOWLEDGE what happened, pay ATTENTION to significant moments, so you can ADDRESS your growth and set backs more clearly moving forward.

REPAIR
The second thing you must do to END 2020 and START 2021 well is to make every effort to REPAIR any relationship that you know needs attention.

There are different levels of REPAIR…
Some relationships need some attention and maintenance. The relationships need a little CARE and concern so that they can remain healthy.

Some relationships need to be pieced back together. Hurts and Mistakes need to be CORRECTED.

Some relationships need to be wrapped up and put away so that you can move forward. These relationships need proper CLOSURE so that you can both move on.

Matthew 5:23–24 (CSB)
23 So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

When we talk about growing UP, IN, and OUT here at Lakeside we are drawing attention to your most important relationships. We believe that every fully engaged disciple needs a growing relationship with JESUS, with THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU, and OTHERS you come in contact with who need Jesus.

RECOMMIT
We were forced to RESPOND…
We had to generate a lot of energy to REOPEN…
Now is the time to RECOMMIT!

I often wonder how the focus, direction, and motivation for my life would change if I woke up and read the Greatest Commands and the Great Commission every morning and before I went to sleep every night.

Matthew 22:37–40 (NIV)
37 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 28:18–20 (CSB)
18 Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

What would it look like if my every thought, decision, and action were influenced by just these 2 passages? How would my attitude change? How would it impact my relationships with others? How would is affect my work, my desires, my entire life?

In 2021, I want to ask you to RECOMMIT to being a disciple of Jesus Christ…

6 Habits of Highly Engaged Disciples
WORSHIP PASSIONATELY
GROW DAILY
LOVE ONE ANOTHER
GIVE GENEROUSLY
JOIN THE MISSION
SHARE THEIR FAITH

These HABITS help to FORM US in the way of Jesus and BIND US together as brothers and sisters. As we Worship, Grow, Love, Give, Join, and Share our HEARTS, SOULS, MINDS, and LIVES are oriented toward King Jesus and life in his kingdom.

Romans 13:11-14 (MSG)
But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new… How will you END 2020?… How will you begin 2021?

General

Get Your Hope Here

We could all use a little hope.
 
Or a lot.
 
Hope comes from our ability to look forward in anticipation toward a goal or a specific time. In addition, Hope requires a reasonable amount of confidence that the thing you desire or the dream you have for your life can actually exists or has the possibility become a reality. Hope is like an oxygen tank on Everest. When you have one you have a lifeline that will help you on your journey.
 
In contrast, Hopelessness is the inability to look ahead or to live in expectation of the future. Someone who has come to a place of Hopelessness has done so because they have little confidence and no reason to believe that there is a way forward. Just like oxygen, we need Hope if we are going to survive the journey ahead.
 
That’s why the season we are in right now is difficult. That vacation you were looking forward to… cancelled. Your big wedding plans… curtailed. That project at work… discontinued. The Hopelessness sets in because you do not even have confidence that the new dates will work. We can’t see the end of these ever-changing regulations and so you have no reason to believe that this new guideline will actually accomplish anything.
 
If you are going to Live and Lead effectively you need HOPE for the journey ahead. You need HOPE because your people need HOPE.
 
I want to provide you with some HOPE.
 
HELP –
 
In your life and leadership you will face obstacles, setbacks, and seasons where you will feel stuck, squeezed, and stretched beyond your current capacity. You will need to move beyond your current reality and begin working toward a preferred future. However, hopelessness sets in because too often the task seems too hard, the problems seem too big, and you wonder if you’re up to the challenge. You are capable of making changes in your current situation but you most likely need some help. I want to help you work through issues, set goals, and equip you to solve the problems you are facing. So, consider for a moment… where could you use some help?
 
OBJECTIVITY –
 
When we are in the think of a tense and difficult situation, too often we get tunnel vision and become focused on only a few things… most often the person or problem causing the most noise. The problem is that sometimes we get focused on the wrong things because we can’t see the bigger picture in the moment. When someone criticizes us we get hung up on the words and tones they used. The untruth of unfair criticism or the truth in constructive criticism gets lost in the noise. Sometimes we feel a huge burden about an issue, we feel ashamed because we don’t measure up, or we can’t see the next move because we can’t see around problems or people right in front of us clamoring for our attention. In moments like these, you need an objective voice to come alongside of you listen without judgement, refocus you through asking questions, and direct you toward a new way through the issues you’re facing. Ask yourself… in what areas could you use a fresh set of eyes and ears to help you see a bigger picture?
 
POSSIBILITIES –
 
Desperation and despair begin to over take us when we feel as though we have nothing left to give and no viable options to take. The truth is that while there are great problems facing you there are also great possibilities if you are willing to explore and discover them. The great thing about life and leadership is that man incredible man and women have gone before us. They have faced great problems as well and through their example they have shown us that it is possible to face your fears, overcome obstacles, and move forward into your preferred future. If you cannot see any way forward… what are some areas you could benefit from being able to see new possibilities in order to resolve an issue you are facing?
 
ENCOURAGEMENT –
 
Encouragement is the lifeblood that keeps our internal heart, soul, and mind alive and encouragement helps us move forward. Unfortunately, we are living in an encouragement-deficient world. Working with and for people can be draining because people are quick with cutting criticism and slow to offer genuine encouragement. Too often, leaders grow bitter and their heart, mind, and soul atrophies because they go months without hearing a single word of encouragement or blessing. As a leader, part if your job is encouraging others. I want to encourage you. Let me ask you… Could you use some encouragement right now?
 
I know that you could uses some HOPE in your life and leadership. Right now you are facing heartbreak, heartache, and heartburn. What is happing in you is more important than what is happening to you. In the midst of this season remember that HOPE comes from working through the suffering so that you can gain perseverance for your leadership journey. What you are facing is developing your heart, soul, and mind for all that is ahead. Your character is being formed, right now, even in the midst of hard things. Let’s go after some HOPE together.
 
Questions:
 
What are 3 things that are giving you HOPE right now?
What are 2 things that are making it difficult to have HOPE?
What’s 1 thing you can do today to give HOPE to someone else?
General

Welcome to Kicking at the Darkness

My name is Micheal Felker and I want to welcome you to Kicking at the Darkness.

Like you, over the years I have collected social media channels and have run the cycle of being enthralled with them to being bored to ignoring them to being outraged to feeling a little sleepy to being even more outraged to settling into a pretty chill habit of mindlessly scrolling, liking, and occasionally posting.

My passion is people and so I enjoy the aspects of catching up with friends and posting inspirational pictures of natural wonders and really awesome bbq. However, since the world went on lock-down a few months ago a new vision for my social media channels has formed in my heart, mind, and soul. I have seen over the course of the quarantine that people on social media desire connection like never before, they want to be inspired, they want to be challenged.

Yes, some have used this time to push conspiracy theories or to highlight controversies and divisive rhetoric.

Despite all this, I want to be intentional about this space and the things I put out into the world. I want a post from me to encourage, challenge, and inspire you when it comes through your newsfeed.

I’m launching Kicking at the Darkness because I want men and women to HAVE HOPE, GAIN CLARITY, and to BE STRENGTHENED in every area of their lives.

I want to GIVE YOU HOPE. For me HOPE comes in the form of Helping others, gaining Objectivity, exploring Possibilities, and providing Encouragement.

I want you to GAIN CLARITY about the people and things that are most important to you. I want to help inspire you to set goals for yourself and your family. I want to help you see the future by rising above the present noise and working through past problems.

Finally, I want to STRENGTHEN EVERY AREA of your life. A few years ago I faced a pretty serious health scare. As I begin to work towards a place of health I discovered that my Physical life was greatly impacted by my Mental state. Then I found out that my Emotional life also informed other areas of my life. Oh, and don’t forget how external relationships play a part in shaping your internal life. It’s one thing to preach spiritual consistency and the importance of internal congruency to others. It’s a wholly, holy thing to embrace that truth and pursue it yourself.

So this is what I’m setting out to do… I want to GIVE HOPE, help you get CLARITY, and equip you to gain STRENGTH in every area of your life.

Here is what I’m asking from you.

Will you please engage with me in this new direction? I will do my part to provide you with encouragement, teaching, challenges, and questions. I am asking you to give me some feedback from your own life and experience. I am asking you to ask great questions and challenge me to help find the answers or solutions. I am asking for your partnership in this journey.

The concept of Kicking at the Darkness comes from a song by my favorite little band out of the Northside of Dublin, U2. In the song, God Part 2, Bono sings that he heard a singer on the radio late at night saying that he’s “gonna kick The Darkness til it bleeds daylight.” (The band is actually referencing a real song by an artist who inspired them named Bruce Cockburn.)

I have been captivated by this idea since the very first time I heard this lyric and it has been a forceful and driving image that has helped me face and overcome many of the battles I’ve faced.

In some of the very darkest moments of my life, when The Darkness has threatened to close in around me, I have found that once you start kicking back… The Light begins to shine through the cracks. Once you enlist others in the fight alongside you, the battle is all but won.

Now, I want to partner with you to help you in your fight Kicking at the Darkness. If you need some HOPE, CLARITY, or STRENGTH in your life and leadership… let’s get to work.

How can I help you?