All posts by mjfelker1980

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

Hello! I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams. 

I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.

After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.

First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future. 

The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.” 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.

Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward. 

In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.

Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.

How can I help you today?

There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting. 

  • Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
  • Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
  • Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.

Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)

Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…

  • Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
  • Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
  • Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
  • Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict

If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.

First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.

Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.

I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends! 

Instagram

Facebook

To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.

This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.  

3 Things You Must Do To END 2022 and START 2023 Well

One of the foundational principles that I live my life by is the belief that how you END something determines how you are able to START something new. 

The way you LEAVE a job will determine how you BEGIN your new job. The way you END one relationship has a bearing on your NEXT relationship. How you TRANSITION OUT from one season will impact the seasons that FOLLOW.

If you LEAVE things undone or unsaid, you risk carrying the weight of those mistakes with you as you move forward. However, if you are aware and work to FINISH WELL, you have a better chance of STARTING WELL in your next endeavor.

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new.

I care deeply about you and your family as well as your hopes and dreams. That’s why I want to encourage you to do what you can to END the year well so that you may BEGIN the new year well. I believe that the effects of this year will continue to haunt you and hold you back from growth in the future if you don’t handle the transition well. I want to help you faithfully and intentionally work to END well so that you can BEGIN the new year with confidence knowing you did all you could do to ensure a great start.

I want to share with you today 3 things you must do in order to END well and START well. 

REFLECT

The first thing you must do is REFLECT on this past year. Yes, I want you to review what may have been the worst year of your life or a year of unprecedented success for you personally and professionally. I want you to look back on the good, bad, and ugly of this past year with clear eyes. I want you to try to remember the things your experienced and the major events of this past year. What happened to you? How did you feel? What positive habits were you able to begin? What negative habits may have held you back?

Lamentations 3:19-24 (NIV) says…

 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

No doubt your year was filled with highs and lows and all the days between. However, one thing remained constant throughout them all and that is the STEADFAST LOVE OF THE LORD for you. God’s love, care, concern, provision, presence never went away over the last 12 months. You may not have always been aware of it… you may not have “felt” it… you may have forgotten… but Yahweh was and is and is to come. 

Besides some of the questions I encouraged you to ask above, take a few moments over the coming days, get alone with God or gather your family in a time of family worship and study to explore your answers to the following:

Where did I see God this year?

How was my faith challenged this past year?

In what ways did I grow in my love and trust for Jesus this year?

What is my favorite memory of the year? What is my least favorite moment from this past year?

– What was my biggest challenge this year?

What would I like to leave behind this year? 

What would I have God help me change or help me grow in during the coming year?

REFLECTING on your year is important because you need to ACKNOWLEDGE what happened, pay ATTENTION to significant moments, so you can ADDRESS your growth and set backs more clearly moving forward.

REPAIR

The second thing you must do to END this year and START next year well is to make every effort to REPAIR any relationship that you know needs attention.

There are different levels of REPAIR…

Some relationships need some attention and maintenance. These relationships need a little CARE and concern so that they can remain healthy.

Some relationships need to be pieced back together. Hurts and Mistakes need to be CORRECTED.

Some relationships need to be wrapped up and put away so that you can move forward. These relationships need proper CLOSURE so that you can both move on.

Matthew 5:23–24 (CSB)

So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

You life is made up of so many different relationships. Some you need to lean into over the next year so that you can help one another grow and be encouraged through the different seasons of life. Some relationships though may cause you pain, frustration, and ultimately leave you hurt and discouraged. Consider the following questions to help you determine what level of CARE, CORRECTION, or CLOSURE may be needed in your relationships:

What relationships did I experience a deeper level with this year? Why did this relationship deepen?

What relationships experience a distancing or drifting this year? Why did this happen? (Resist placing/taking blame and try to objectivly describe any situation or event that may have caused this relationship to drift)

What relationship do I need to intentionally bring to a close? How is this relationship keeping me from growth or health?

RECOMMIT

I often wonder how the focus, direction, and motivation for our lives would change if we read the Greatest Commands and the Great Commission from Jesus every morning and before we went to sleep every night.

Matthew 22:37–40 (NIV)

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 28:18–20 (CSB)

Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Consider this question:

What would it look like if my every thought, decision, and action were influenced by just these 2 passages? How would my attitude change? How would it impact my relationships with others? How would is affect my work, my desires, my entire life?

I want to encourage you to RECOMMIT to being a fully-engaged disciple of Jesus Christ every day this next year. Fully- Engaged Disciples walk with Jesus and engage in the following practices with Him and God’s people:

Disciples WORSHIP PASSIONATELY

Disciples GROW DAILY

Disciples LOVE ONE ANOTHER

Disciples GIVE GENEROUSLY

Disciples JOIN THE MISSION

Disciples SHARE THEIR FAITH

These HABITS help to FORM us in the way of Jesus and BIND us together as brothers and sisters. As we Worship, Grow, Love, Give, Join, and Share our HEARTS, SOULS, MINDS, and LIVES are oriented toward King Jesus and life in his kingdom.

Romans 13:11-14 (MSG)

But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!

How you END something determines how you are able to START something new… How will you END this year?… How will you BEGIN the new year?


You Have To Wrestle Resentment To The Ground

Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many. (Hebrews 12:15)

As you begin to wrestle with your thoughts and feelings about the current state of your ministry and the world we find ourselves in, one emotion that you must wrestle to the ground is RESENTMENT.
Resentment – bitter indignation at have been treated unfairly – is poisonous and detrimental to your life and ministry.

  1. Resentment keeps you from believing you have agency or personal responsibility over your own life. If you believe that your life, calling, and success is completely out of your control and at the complete mercy of others your bitterness will turn to despair. 
  2. Resentment creates distance in your relationships  with everyone around you. This distance isn’t just between you and the people you perceived have wronged you but resentment will begin to affect even those closest to you. Resentment closes you off from relationships because your ability to trust (the most important relational capital) is stunted.
  3. Resentment ultimately causes you to remain stuck where you are because the roots of bitterness are so strong you cannot move forward from your hurts.

How have you seen RESENTMENT play out in your life and ministry? How have you seen God’s grace breakthrough and help you deal with RESENTMENT in your life?

3 MORE REASONS PASTORS ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING

3 MORE REASONS PASTOR’S ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING MINISTRY from Barna Research reveals that pastors…

  1. are Unhappy with the effect this role has had on their family 
  2. are Not Optimistic about the future of their church
  3. Believe that their vision for the church conflicts with the church’s direction 

The interesting thing about these three are that they are TIED for 4th place on the list (29%). In my work with church leaders, I would say that these are THE reasons I’m hearing rumblings in their confidence about remaining in ministry. In these conversations these issues have come to the surface because of a TOXIC CULTURE within their church. A culture that doesn’t take care of its people. A culture that wants to return to some “golden era” or is content with remaining stuck. A culture that would rather pursue the ways of American christianity than pursue the Kingdom. In these situations, the pastor feels as though they have no ability to change the situation. That’s a recipe for burnout and resignation.

What can we do to change TOXIC CULTURES within our churches? How can we help protect our ministry staff from becoming a statistic?

TOP 3 REASONS PASTORS HAVE CONSIDERED LEAVING

Barna has identified the TOP 3 REASONS PASTOR’S ARE CONSIDERING LEAVING MINISTRY (March, 2022). They are…

  1. The immense stress of the job (56%)
  2. Feeling lonely and isolated (43%)
  3. Current political divisions (38%)

Two of these are not changing anytime soon (1 & 3) but you can take steps to move beyond feeling lonely and isolated. You can join a gym (BJJ or Crossfit have community baked in), call that friend across town, or partner with a coach to listen to and encourage you (Hi! ? ). Life change happens in relationships. It’s true for those we love and lead… It’s true you.

What is at stake if you remain lonely or isolated? What difference would intentionally cultivating friendships have on your well-being and leadership? 

3 Areas You Need To Develop To Live Well and Lead Confidently

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Too often we can get so caught up in the tasks and functions of leadership that we can forget to develop ourselves. Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church says, “When a leader gets better, everyone gets better.” So, what are you doing to grow and develop yourself? Personal Development focuses on two key areas of your life: your Character (who you are) and your Capacity (your gifting and skills). As a leader, your Character must stay on pace with or exceed your Capacity. As a church leader, everything you do flows out of your relationship with Jesus. The impact of you ministry is dependent upon how deep you walk with Christ on a daily basis. As you seek to develop your Character and Capacity, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Who do I want to become over the next season of my leadership?
  2. What am I currently doing that I need to keep doing?
  3. What am I currently doing that I need to stop doing?
  4. What do I need to start doing that might make a difference to my life and those around me?

PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

Now that you’ve started working on developing the hardest person on your team (see above), it is time to pour into the people around you. Developing your people can be a challenge but it is absolutely the most rewarding part of leadership. Likely, you entered into this work not for accolades or awards but because you love people and you want to help them succeed. One way to begin developing your people is to invest your attention and time in getting to know them, affirming their gifts, identifying negative behaviors that need to change, and putting them in a position where they can excel. As you begin to develop the people around you, consider the following questions as you observe them at work:

  1. What is something that I admire about this person that I can share with them?
  2. What positive behaviors or areas of growth can I affirm with them?
  3. What are some areas where I can encourage them to work through negative behaviors or attitudes that may be stunting their growth?
  4. What is one way that you can help them level up or succeed in this current season?

PROCESS DEVELOPMENT

Just as the human body is made up of systems that work independently and interdependently to create a healthy person, your church needs systems and processes that work together to maintain a healthy, growing organization. The old saying is completely true: Your Systems are perfectly designed to get the results you are currently getting. If you are unhappy or dissatisfied with the results, get to work on creating and implementing a new system. In a church, there are a number of systems that either help or hinder people from experiencing the church’s desired results for their lives. If you want your people to serve, what are the steps you provide for volunteers to get involved? Are you having difficulty preparing a message each and every week? Take a look at your sermon writing process and see where you need to make adjustments. Get your team around the table and begin asking the following questions to help you design some systems to help you get things done:

  1. What about this process is Clear/Working?
  2. What about this process is Confusing/Broken?
  3. What about this process is Missing?
  4. If you could wave a magic wand, what would you change/add/improve about this process?

As a coach, I help individual church leaders and teams who are motivated to develop themselves, their people, and the church so that they can reach God’s full-redemptive potential. The bottom line is that healthy things grow. Healthy churches are led by men and women who are dedicated to being attentive to what God is up to in the world and who desire to join in on that work.

I want to help you become a church leader who loves and leads well. I offer a free 45-minute coaching call to help you assess if working with a coach can help you in your current ministry season.

As the Fall begins and school starts back, this season can bring new possibilities, problems, and a renewed purpose for you and your ministry. I’d love to connect with you to hear your story and work towards providing you some Hope, Clarity, and Strength.

What CHALLENGE ARE YOU FACING RIGHT NOW?

How Can I Help?

Now that you are on the backside of Summer, I’m sure your attention is turning to the next school semester and the next season in ministry. As you may know I started Kicking at the Darkness to provide Hope, Clarity, and Strength to church leaders, their families, and their teams. I love ministers and want to see them grow and continue to serve from a place of health and resilience personally or professionally. I want to see church leaders gain traction to get moving or build on the momentum they may be experiencing.

I would love to offer my coaching and consulting services to you or your church. If it is helping facilitate discussions, do interviews, provide resources, or present a team building workshop for your team I would love to work with you. I am a certified “Leading From Your Strengths” facilitator and I think that this DISC-style assessment is great for assisting church teams in understanding themselves and the way they work (or don’t work) together.

I am available and open to creating a program or offering that is specifically tailored to your current needs and the direction you are working towards. Also, if you know of any other church leaders or churches who could use some Hope, Clarity, and Strength, please connect them with me. You can check out this one-sheet to get an idea of some of the ways I’ve helped Church Leaders and Teams get unstuck and moving forward.

Ministry is tough… a Coach can help you along the journey. I will to pray for you and your family, your leadership, and the work you are doing with your people. If you need anything to help you continue loving and leading, give me a call.

3 Ways TO STEWARD YOUR LEADERSHIP

“Leadership is stewardship. It’s temporary and you’re accountable.”

This quote by Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church, kicks off one of my favorite podcasts. I have it memorized by heart and I think I do a pretty good Andy Stanley impersonation as I mimic his cadence and inflections each week as I listen to the introduction.
More than just a great quote or motivational saying, Andy is right.


Those of us in leadership – whether it is in the church, in the workplace, or at home – have been given our position by God and he expects us to steward each moment to bring Him glory and honor.


Leadership is temporary. Solomon declares that there is a time for everything under the sun including the time we have been given to serve and lead. One day we will transition to a different role, the kids will leave the nest, and for some, retirement may come sooner than we would like. Like Steve Miller says, “Time keeps on slipping into the future.”


We are accountable to God for our leadership, too. One day, if we steward these gifts well we will hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant” or we will be confronted with a reality that because we were afraid, failed to plan well, or just were just plain lazy we left some things undone or missed opportunities God had in store for us.


I think that those of us who find ourselves in leadership positions inherently understand these truths but sometimes we struggle with how to connect our orthodoxy (right understanding) with real, tangible orthopraxis (right practices). Here are 3 Real Ways You Can Steward Your Leadership Well…

  1. Steward your leadership well by honoring God in everything you do in every area of your life. The Hebrew word for Honor is kabed and it has a weightiness to it. It can be translated as honor, renown, and glory. When the Psalmist says in Psalm 86:9,12, “I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever” he is honoring God with everything that he is.


I love how Colossians 3:23–25 reads in The Message. Paul says, “Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being Christian doesn’t cover up bad work.”


A person of honor always gives their best effort in every area of their life. Are you stewarding the life God has given you to glorify Him in every aspect inside and out?


2) Steward your leadership well by leading during the time and in the place God has given you to lead. The day in and say out grind of leadership will test your faithfulness. There is always another person to visit, always another phone call make or email to send, another task to complete, and another project to begin. The problem for most of is not that we have to make choices between right and wrong or choose between good and bad. Tensions arise because we become paralyzed when we have to choose between right and almost right. We procrastinate because we have to choose between good and great. Leadership take discernment and wisdom. To me, wisdom isn’t knowledge. Wisdom is applied knowledge. We are faithful to our calling when we apply the knowledge we have obtained to make the most out of every opportunity presented before us.


Ephesians 5:15–17 (NLT) challenges us saying, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”


A faithful leader is wise in how they use their time to accomplish the tasks God has given them to serve His people. Are you being faithful with the time and opportunities before you?


3) Steward your leadership well by humbly submitting your leadership to Jesus. The higher we climb in our leadership and the more things we accomplish the greater the temptation becomes to take full credit for everything good that happens in our lives. Of course the opposite is true. Sometimes things do not work out how we planned. The vision that we had for our lives and the people we serve can go off the rails. When this happens we can be quick to take all the blame. Some call this the Superman theory where leaders begin to believe that they are Superman and must take on every task, burden, pain, joy, celebration, and failure. A wise teacher once told me, “Don’t be quick to carry all the blame when something do not go the way you planned because that same attitude might cause you to be quick to take all the glory when something goes well.” That’s sound advice.


I’ll let you in on a secret that you already know… You are not Superman. Neither am I. We have no way of controlling every outcome of the decisions and choices we make in our leadership. However, we serve the One who knows all, is in all, and works all things – good and not so good – to His glory and the good of those who love Him.\
Proverbs 3:5–8 ESV) says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

An accountable leader humbly submits to Jesus and trusts Him with every aspect of their leadership. Are you trusting in the Lord with all your heart or are you leaning on your own understanding?

The ONE TOOL I LOVE WHEN LEADING A GROUP MEETING

I love working with church leaders and teams to create solutions and systems to help them gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH around their biggest challenges. Today I was helping tackle an issue around providing soul care and coaching for staff and volunteers.

One of my favorite ways to facilitate these conversations is through using a whiteboard (or, like today, an easel pad) and my custom color-coded Post-it Notes.

When you utilize tools like these it increases spacial memory for everyone involved by helping them record and recall the information more quickly and with greater accuracy.

For me, the secret sauce in this entire process has been the small Post-it notes I use to organize and differentiate between the elements of conversation in group meetings.

I want to share my system with you in the hopes that maybe it will help you as you lead your next meeting or planning session.

Orange – Questions
Blue – People
Green – Tools
Purple – Decisions
Yellow – Comments

The first day of this process was filled with lots of Questions. Some of these were questions asked during the process, some are questions that are anticipated from others, and some are questions that will need answers by the time we are done. On the Green notes, some potential Tools were identified that would help guide the process or provide direction along that part of the timeline. I love seeing Purple because that means that some Decisions actually came out of the discussions! The lone Blue note for today is actually a reminder to get some clarity around who may still need to be a part of this process, who are the decision makers, and who might offer more input to help make this process a success. I have the Yellow Comment notes in a stack next to my laptop that I’ll review later tonight.

I hope this can be a helpful tool for you as you love and lead your team to work through big challenges together. If I can be useful to you in any way or answer any questions about this process… let me know,

What is ONE tool you use to facilitate discussions or organize meetings more effectively?
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HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Hello. I’m Micheal and I am the executive director and pastoral coach for Kicking at the Darkness, a ministry dedicated to providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH to Pastors and Church Teams. 

I don’t need to tell you that ministry is one of the most challenging professions on planet earth. Loving and Leading people with everything that you are and everything that you have is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually draining. After a few seasons of frustrations and fatigue, it is inevitable that disappointment can set in.

After 20 years in local church ministry, I grew tired of seeing good men and women in ministry lose confidence in their calling, wrestle with difficult people and processes, and, ultimately, exit the ministry for good. In this new season, I believe that God has called me to serve the church by serving pastors. If you are a church leader, I want to come alongside you to encourage and equip you to continue in ministry with all your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Kicking at the Darkness is ministry care for those who minister. 

What do I mean by helping you gain HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH in yourself and your ministry.

First, Hope is NOT a pie-in-the-sky dream that is unrealistic and unattainable. Hope is defined as “a reasonable expectation that something good may happen.” This “reasonable expectation” comes from a confidence that REMEMBERS God’s redemptive acts in the past, TRUSTS God’s faithfulness in the present, and BELIEVES God’s goodness for the future. 

The Apostle Paul describes God as “The God of HOPE.” 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Joy, Peace, and an overflowing of Hope are the result of staying connected to the God of Hope.

Next is Clarity. Once you believe that things will get better you need a plan and a vision to move forward. 

In most ministry settings, whenever issues or problems arise leadership teams can get caught up in the Frustration Loop. Discuss… debate… deliberate… discuss… debate… deliberate… “Look kid’s, Parliament… Big Ben.” What we need are systems and processes in place that help us identify what the real issues are, the courage to discuss openly, and solutions that concrete action steps to solve issues permanently.

Finally, you need Strength to endure and persevere to all that is to come – the good, the bad, the unknown, and the unexpected. How is your health? How is your mental and emotional state? Are you getting enough rest? There are Habits that help us ensure that when the difficult seasons occur, we have done what we can to prepare ahead of time and increased our capacity to weather the storm whether it’s a light drizzle or a Category 5 hurricane.

How can I help you today?

There are a few avenues that we are developing to help meet your needs and provide a system and process for HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH. 

The first is 1:1 Coaching. Whether IN-PERSON, ON the PHONE, or VIDEO-CHAT we can meet on a schedule that works for you. This is an opportunity for you to share whatever is happening in your ministry with an objective, neutral person outside of your church. During our time you’ll receive encouragement and help to process options, decisions, and action-steps. I will also pray over you at the end of each meeting. 

  • Perhaps things are really bad right now and you just need someone to vent to and hear what’s going on in your heart and in your head. I can help you with that.
  • Maybe you know what needs to happen or you have some ideas for the future but you need some help identifying and taking the next steps necessary to make the vision a reality. I can help you with that.
  • Or maybe you are looking to build up and reinforce some areas of your life that you need in order to make the most of your life and ministry. I can help you with that.

Another way that Kicking at the Darkness is providing HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH is through working with Church Teams to create systems and processes to BUILD TRUST, INCREASE UNITY, and DRIVE VISION. The truth is that the HEALTH of the Ministry Leadership determines the EFFECTIVENESS of the entire Church. I enjoy working with church leadership teams in resolving differences and learning to work through conflict. I love helping teams identify and implement a set of Core Values that define HOW they will work together. I get excited when Teams TRUST one another, attack CHALLENGES, and CELEBRATE wins for the Kingdom. How good and pleasant it is when Church Staffs work well together and actually enjoy working together! (Psalm 133:1)

Beyond 1:1 Coaching and Working with Church Teams, I am also working on developing resources to help…

  • Church Leaderships UNDERSTAND and RECOGNIZE the need to Prioritize, Plan, and Protect times of Rest for the entire staff so that leaders can lead from a place of peace and strength.
  • Teaching Pastors to develop and implant a Year-Long Preaching Calendar to get a handle on their schedule and prep time.
  • Providing direction and facilitating Staff Retreats to Pray and Plan the year so that team can build unity and cast vision.
  • Dealing with Issues (people, process, programs) Once and For All with Grace and Intentionality so that the Gospel will be unhindered by strife and conflict

If any of this sounds like something that you need and want – if I can be useful to you in any way, let me share with you how we can connect to see how Kicking at the Darkness can best serve you.

First, Go to KickingattheDarkness.com. There you can schedule a FREE 45-Min Spiritual Care and Coaching Call. During our time together, I want to hear about the challenges you’re facing and pray over you. After the call, we can work together to determine how best to move forward to provide you or your team with the HOPE, CLARITY, and STRENGTH you need in your life and ministry.

Also on the site, you can Partner with Kicking at the Darkness through becoming a Prayer Partner or to donate to the ministry. Our goal for 2022 is to have the solid support of 300 people who love ministers and the church, believe in this ministry, and who pray regularly for ministers facing challenges. Kicking at the Darkness is a registered 501(c)(3) so a gift of any amount will help provide ministry coaching and spiritual care at minimal cost to individual church leaders. You gift will help me, help them.

I am also on all the socials. Connect with me. Let’s be friends! 

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To wrap up, a few years ago I was I was in the thick of it. Life was good… but it was hard. We had a young family – two kids 3 and 1. It seemed like every 18 months some major crisis was happening in our church leadership and body. I had recently transitioned from one position to another. Someone encouraged me to reach out to a coach who specialized in helping small church pastors. This coach helped me in so many ways both personally and professionally. He listened, gave counsel, and encouraged me. He empowered me to make decisions and take responsibility for my life and ministry. My circumstances didn’t change… but my perspective radically shifted. Where I didn’t think things could ever get better, I found the HOPE to believe that would. Where I couldn’t see a way forward, I discovered the CLARITY I needed to move ahead. Where I needed to grow my capacity, I gained STRENGTH in those areas.

This is what I want for you and your ministry. I know a significant number of ministers are looking to exit ministry all together right now. If that’s you, let’s talk before you make that decision. If you have it in you to go another season… let’s partner together to make a your next season your BEST SEASON in life and ministry.