Do you MySpace? Well, if you do, then you know at least two things. The first being that it is a time suck. You can be on there for 6 hours and not realize it. I’m surprised there haven’t been more news reports about teenagers who have forgotten to take their insulin because they were busy changing their Top 8. It is that bad.
As a MySpacer, you should also know that recently Tom’s servers licked the virtual lollipop of power and the site got kicked to the curb for a few days leaving teens everywhere without a way to communicate. This really didn’t surprise me though. Some profiles crash my browser because of all the junk on their site. I like MySpace because I can communicate with my teens quickly and easily but I have the distinct feeling that it is dumbing down the internet. It didn’t need the help Tom.
Speaking of dumb, did you hear about the new newest power couple to recieve a “Special Edition iPod.” Hold on to your seats folks.
Brangelina.
Yep that’s right. The pictures of this black and white music device have been spotty at best but we do know that advertisments for this bad idea will air during this year’s World Series in Kansas City. Apple approached Boutros Boutros-Ghali to appear in the ads but the former head of the UN declined the offer saying he doesn’t enjoy “froliking with technology.” Instead, Apple has decided to clip together scenes from Brad and Angelina’s movies in a fasion similar to Forrest Gump.
“The commercial will take place in Texas and is going to be a real blast. The story revolves around a smokey dive somewhere in the Texas desert. Angelina will walk in to a bar singing the wildly inappropriate Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and will interupt a fight between Brad and Ed (Norton, Pitts’ costar in the movie “Fight Club”). We hope to change the way people do advertising,” said Pitts’ spokesperson. Jolie’s rep could not be reached for details on the project.
While speaking at the Heritage Foundation in Searcy, AR fellow humanitarian Bono took a hard line when questioned about the new iPod. When one young man asked if he was afraid that the new Brangelina iPod would out sell the wildly popular U2 iPod the singer’s Irish temper showed through.
“You take this message back to your precious Brangelina: Bring it On!!!” he retorted. “There is no love loss, no camaraderie when it comes to this kind of thing. They can put their mugshot on every issue of US Weekly and Star Magazine but multi-colored digital music players are my realm.” With that, Bono refused to answer anymore questions.
Barring any unforseen complications, look for these new music players in stores around this holiday season.
Incredible.
Wow, you really stepped up. I was planning on giving this a half-hearted effort, but you’ve set the ar very, very high. Kudos!
Wow, major kudos…you even used them in order! Excellent job and very entertaining. Let’s see if the Prez is half as good.
(Don’t think the fact that you managed to squeeze in Bono escaped me! haha!)
Thanks guys. After Sarah provided the words, the piece wrote itself.
I am so OCD that I had to list them in order. Good word choices Sarah. Although I did like Michael’s suggestion of Filliam H Muffman more than Brangelina. The name sounds like a grizzled, hard boiled 1940s private eye.
I couldn’t help the Bono mention. It was my way of pleading to the Hertiage Foundation to invite a good speaker. ASI: Bono please!!!!
I thought the comment about the insulin was pretty funny.