This is the last installment of our look at The Wounded Minister by Guy Greenfield. We have been studying the 6 characteristics of a pathological antagonist. Pathological antagonists or clergy killers, have ruled our churches for far to long. They have wrecked havoc on our ministers and minister’s familes. They keep those within our churches in line by ruling with fear and intimidation. The damage that these antagonists leave behind lingers for years. I know that this series hasn’t been fun but I believe it is neccessary. It is time for some of our modern day Foy E. Wallaces to be stripped of the “power” that they hold over us. No more. As I said on Wednesday, Knowing is half the battle. If my little articles can help my ministry brothers and sisters and if I can help give them some solid resources to aid them in weathering some storms in their ministries then I’ve done a great thing. So without further ado, the final installmet.

I’ve saved the best for last. I have waited all week to discuss the final characteristic of pathological antagonists. This is the behavior that burns me up inside. This is the characteristic that causes me to lose my idealism about serving the people of God. If this characteristic isn’t stopped than many, many young ministers will begin to disregard their calling to ministry.

The attacks of a pathological antagonist are for destruction rather than construction.

When older individuals choose destruction over construction they betray the body of Christ and turn younger minister away from a ministry that they have been called to. It is this characteristic that connects all of the others. Again, instead of writing about a personal experience with this characteristic, I wanted to show you an email I received this week. It is from a former youth minister in North Carolina named Steve. I got permission from Steve to publish his letter. I believe that Steve’s struggle with a group of pathological antagonists shows first hand the damage that can be done when older members of a church chose destruction over construction.

Micheal-
Thank you so much for writing about this secret sin the permeates our churches. I have had first hand experience with “clergy killers” and what you have written about this week has been eye-opening. I wish that I had read “The Wounded Minister” before everything happened. It might have helped me understand what was happening to my family and I. Who knows, I might have stayed in my ministry. Here is what happened.

I became the youth minister at (church name withheld) in the spring of 2004. I was fresh out of seminary and excited about beginning my first job as a full-time minister. I was the first “full-time” youth minister that this church had ever hired. Before me, parents and deacons had helped organize and carry out youth events. I was excited about partnering with these parents and deacons because a few of them had once been in full-time ministry. I believed that there would be much that I could learn from these older “ministers” that would help me navigate the rocky terrain that is ministry. This was not the case. Instead of helping me, they made my life and ministry harder. If I wasn’t teaching the Bible enough, I was teaching too much and over their heads. If the youth group was being loud before and after services it was because I wasn’t teaching them how to act in “God’s house.” One group of parents in particular was extremely difficult. They were always critical of every Bible study and every teen worship. What frustrated me about this one group of parents is that they wanted to tell me how to run the ministry but their kids were SMOs (Sunday Morning Only). These parents could not get their kids to participate in mission trips or small groups. They blamed this problem on me. They said that the ministry was just “smoke and mirrors.” They wrote me an anounomous letter (It was signed “Concerned Parents”) that said that unless something was done to make our meeting times more biblical and more they would call an executive meeting to discuss the “direction of the youth ministry.” I tried calling parent meetings. I tried solicting ideas on how we could be more “biblical” but no one would provide me with any answers. “Biblical” seemed to be a code word for “Our Way or the Highway.” I pleaded with our parents and deacons to help me.

When I could not get any help I decided to keep doing what I was doing. After a few weeks, one of the parents came to me. This parent was the father of one of my 8th graders. He told me that there had been a meeting at one of the other parent’s house. Only a few select parents had been called. They had met to discuss how divissive the ministry had become. The parent reluctantly told me that they had passed a petition around too. The petition was asking whether or not I should stay as the minister. That night (Friday) the ringleader came to my house with that petition. This parent had been a minister for 15 years before becoming a realtor in town. He made quite a bit of money and was also a deacon at our church. He handed me the petition and told me to clean out my office before Sunday. He told me that I had made too many mistakes and that he was removing me before I did any more damage. I couldn’t understand. Attendance was up. We had experienced a great retreat and we had been planning a summer mission trip to Florida. Things didn’t add up. The arguments given for my dismissal were very vauge. I didn’t “fit.” I caused “division.” My teaching was “sub-standard.” All of these things could have been worked on and remidied if these parents had chosen to be constructive. That was never their intention.

Sadly, I do not see myself in full-time ministry again any time in the near future. I have had a bad taste in my mouth. If these parents truly believed that what I was doing was spiritually detrimental than why did they not come to me and try and correct me? Why did they try and kill me and my ministry? Some of these people were former ministers. Where was someone to mentor me and help me when I did mess up?

Unfortuanately, the things that happened to Steve are not new. When men and women choose destruction over construction no side wins. The young minister is often crushed under the weight of angry letters, malicious gossip, and lonliness. The collateral damage includes the minister’s family, the church body and sometime the community. It is a crying shame.

Clergy abuse must stop. I know that these little articles may not amount to a hill of beans. I’m just some guy who read a book and thought that these points were interesting. Steve is just one youth minister out of hundreds of thousands. And you are just one person out of dozens that read this site. The numbers of our little minority may seem small compared to those of the antagonists but we cannot let this type of abuse continue. I’m not calling for a church coup. I’m not telling you to call these people out when you get up to pray before the congregation. No, we can turn the tide of clergy abuse when we stand beside our ministers and encourage them. I cannot express the feelings of empowerment I feel when someone tells me that I’m doing a good job. I feel like I could hit a home run!!! Some minsiters never hear anything but the negative. Dedicate yourself to becoming a clery encourager. Do it today.