The Grammy Awards—or Grammys—are presented annually by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences of the United States for outstanding achievements in the music industry.

Behold the consequences of abandoning your mission. This year’s Grammy nominations are in and they are horrible!!! Sure there are some good nominations across the board but I am dumbstruck by the mediocre choices for Album of the Year. Surely, surely they could have come up with some more deserving alternatives to nominate for the big prize. Instead, we have a hodgepodge of noise being passed off as credible “achievements in the music industry.”

If I were choosing this year’s Album of the Year my choices would look decidedly different. Here’s a look at my choices for Album of the Year. (For recordings released during the Eligibility Year October 1, 2008 through August 31, 2009)

The Resistance // MUSE (over I Am… Sasha Fierce // Beyonce)
Why reward a bloated double album of pop standards when you can reward a single bloated album of rock genius? You might not yet know who MUSE is but you soon will. These guys are huge across the pond. 2009 brought us The Resistance, MUSE’s biggest release yet. This space-opera-concept album, is full of haunting lyrics, driving beats, and even a three part symphony. The first single, Uprising, should be nominated for song of the year too. A very fitting anthem for 2009.

Day and Age // The Killers (over The E.N.D. // The Black Eyed Peas)
If you award the BEP with Album of the Year, then Autotune wins. Is that what you want? Is that the kind of world you want your grandchildren to inherit. Like Beyonce, BEP are the “big name” nominees. Sure they’ll bring in the viewers and put on a lavish light show but you aren’t supposed to awarding lasers. Remember, Autotune or saving humanity. The choice is yours.

For some good dance beats, strong music, and real voices try to sit still listening to the latest release from The Killers.

Nails on a Chalkboard // 1000 Angry Cats (over The Fame // Lady Gaga)
I would also rather listen to Fran Drescher sing the complete works of Frank Sinatra than to sit and listen to this crap. If you feed it, it will hang around. I say starve this Fame Monster and put us out of our misery. Too harsh?

Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King // Dave Matthews Band (over Big Whiskey And The Groogrux King // Dave Matthews Band)
Way to go Academy. This was a good nominee for Album of the Year. 1) The album is DMB’s best release in years and is a fitting tribute to their fallen founding member, LeRoi Moore. 2) The music is tight with every arrangement perfectly balanced. 3) There is an epic quality to sound. Hands down this my favorite DMB album since Before These Crowded Streets.

Backspacer // Pearl Jam (over Fearless // Taylor Swift)
I’m not a hater. I like Taylor Swift, her music, her lyrics, and her eye makeup but I am unwilling to say she deserves to win the big prize. Give her a songwriting award or a pop award but not Album of the Year. Instead, look to Pearl Jam for a solid and self-produced album. This is a big step forward for this Seattle band. The songs are driven by great music but the strength of these tracks come from the lyrics and vocals. Listening to Backspacer sounds familiar and brand new all at once.

(Obligatory Statement) U2’s No Line on the Horizon would be my real choice for Album of the Year. Yeah, yeah, yeah- I know. I might be biased (Who I am I kidding? I most certainly am biased.) but musically, lyrically, sonically NLOTH is leaps and bounds, over and above any of the real nominees for Album of the Year. It may not be the “best” U2 album but it is an awesome listening experience and a classic album. 20 years from now I will stand by that statement.

20 minutes from now you’ll be asking “Who is Lady Gaga?”